A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently seeing (nothing official yet) a guy who has a young kid, 3 years old. I never really wanted any kids of my own but I am really starting to fall for this guy and I think he feels the same way. I'm not good with kids, not because I don't like them but because I've never had experience with young children before. I don't know what to say or how to act around them. My ex boyfriend had two kids but they were teenagers so it was very easy for me to get along with them and do fun things with them. We were together for four years and the kids had nothing to do with us breaking up. With this new guy, all I think about is changing diapers and the kid screaming in my ear if I were to meet him and that freaks me out. Has anyone ever dated someone with a young one before that has any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2019): Patience. Energy. Not meeting them before 6+ (preferably 9+) months of being exclusive and official.
A
male
reader, Pepi let pew  +, writes (1 June 2019):
 You need to understand that if you split up. You will hurt from the loss of a child as well as hurt from the loss of your partner.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (31 May 2019):
 It takes patience and you need to be willing to share your time. Depending on what type of parent he is, kids come first and so does his parenting responsibilities. Hopefully his ex and he have a good co parenting relationship because that, IMHO, is harder if they do not. Personally I would keep a distance so early in the relationship. Kids can become very easily attached and can be very difficult for them to process break-ups should it happen. As far as how to act when the time comes, your role is more like a friend not a parent because the child already has them. That much I would make very clear from the get go. Some people are looking for a 'replacement' parent and expect they fore fill that role while others clearly don't. It really depends on your limitations and expectation of how you fit into things so communication with him is key. I wouldnt worry too much about not being to familiar with how to act as such rather just be kind and take things from there.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (31 May 2019):
 I was a single mom when my daughter was only 2. If he has full custody then his life revolves around his child AS IT SHOULD BE. It means your life really isn't your own and the majority of the time is spent making sure that your child is happy, fed and comfortable and safe. Most 3 year olds aren't wearing diapers anymore but they have alot of energy and will run you ragged. Don't expect to have alot of romance time with just the 2 of you because it won't happen. When you have a child and you are a good parent then that child is your LIFE.
Keep in mind that this man will be watching you, seeing how you interact and if the child likes you. Small children aren't that hard usually to get along with. Show them attention, be kind and just be real. Little kids aren't stupid even at that age and they know if someone likes them or not.
Its rough dating someone with a young one and if you aren't sure how you feel about a younger child..move very slowly. The guy may go very slowly about introducing you into his child's life until he is sure of you. That's the way it should be. He's responsible for his child and doesn't want anyone in his life that will cause problems.
Younger children are very cute but again, they are exhausting. Keep this in mind. They can have short attention spans and it can be rough keeping them entertained. If you haven't been around small children much....be prepared for sheer craziness at times. Its quite the challenge but the rewards are astronomical. If you aren't sure about young kids..this will be the test!
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