A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex bf was the center of my universe and he knew it. Most times I felt like a yoyo from emotional ups and downs. He did everything that you could imagine under the sun to mess me about. At the ende of the day he broke up with me by text. Yes I did go through the breakup greiving. Beggged pleaded you name I did it. He was deaf to it. He twisted it and was acting like he was the one scorned. He became fatal. Stalking me. Hangup calls. Mysterious emails criticing me. It's actually pretty funny because he doesn't know I him in disguise. I was thinking about busting him out but then. I'll miss my daily laughing doses from watching him tip around and do vindictive things in a sneaky but unsuccessful way. It's killing me not to confront him but I'm enjoying watching his dumbass. What's his point? Lol.
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broke up, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): He doesn't love you but he loves seeing you suffer so he hurts you. It's a warped addiction for him. He's a monster. Do as the others have said to get away from him. He's dangerous. Never be alone with him.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 December 2010):
 he doesn't want you. But in a nasty vindictive way he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. He's trying to mess with your head so that you'll lose confidence in you. Until he's demoralised you enough to have you plead to come back, then reluctantly he might agree to that, entirely on his terms.
You do not need this man,
Don't waste your time confronting him.
Best way to thwart him is : change your phone number, and add an answering machine with a message that is not your voice, that way you screen all calls. Delete all your email accounts (save your needed contacts)
and then start a new email with new
variation on your name. If you have facebook, twitter skype then delete existing ones. And if you must have them
then under a new variation of your name. Even if you have to add an underscore or a letter somewhere. Eg
ElleSmith becmes Elly_Smith
Also start reconnecting with old friends. Friends who fell by the wayside when you concentrated on him. Start rebuilding net works of people who become part of your new life.
Join some interesting groups doing interesting things. State your marital status as single, recently broken up to anyone who asks. But do not go into the boring gory details.
Get a new hair do. Go to the gym more often. Get better tone in your muscles. Drink plenty of water. Don't drown your sorrows in bars - you don't (usually) meet good guys in bars.
Eat really healthy. Even sign up for a cooking class - meet gorgeous guys in cooking classes held in evening.
Learn a new skill where you are likely to meet guys - like wood carving.
Move on from this guy and fill your life with happiness. And positive activities. Date but do not be in a hurry to settle for the first man who offers more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): He is in love with you and he hates that you caused him to fall in love with you because he is not ready to let go of a woman from his past who ripped his heart out. He's placed his life on hold, hoping that in due time the woman who ripped his heart out will comeback for him and profess her love for him and a pact to commit to spend the remainder of her life with him. He wants to move forward with you, but he fears doing so because not only will doing so mar his loyalty to the woman who ripped his heart out but he may fall vulnerable to you and again expose himself to the risk of being hurt by love again should you do as the other woman and also rip his heart out. So he loves you but at the same time hates you and blames you for bringing him to this uncomfortable emotional opposition. His defense is to push you away. This is why he broke up with you. Yet he stalks you as he needs to keep tabs on whether or not you have met another man and if so if the other man is causing you to forget about him. He doesn't want you to forget about him. He doesn't want you to stop loving him. He wants you to put your love life on hold alongside him just in case the woman who ripped his heart out doesn't come back for him and so you will be there for him and only him at which point he will surrender to his love for you. He knows his expectation that conform to this path is unfair to you. It's not your duty to pay for his heart ache. You too are due love in return so he frees you, breaks up with you, let's you go. Yet the moment he see's you mutually attracted to another man who's not he and mutually indulge yourself in mutual love with another man who's not he, he hates you, feigns livid with rage and sets out to vindictively destroy your potential love life that he himself wasn't ready to give you but pushed you to. He logically knows it's not your fault for his hate yet a small part of him says "If I am willing to put my life on hold for a woman who ripped my heart out, why can't she do the same to prove her loyalty to me?" And it is that makes him have more insecurity in giving in to the love that he's scared to be.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (26 December 2010):
 hi
well he needs to grow up doesnt he? he enjoyed messing around with your feelings when you were with him and then enjoyed seeing you suffer while you begged him to come back to you and then when you stopped he has started to do this coz he didnt want to give up hurting you! the best thing you can do is totally ignore his messages. dont give him the satisfaction of replying to let him know that you know its him. do not open the lines of communication with him again coz people like him feed off it! crank phone calls and cyberbullying are a criminal offence so if he carries on, maybe reporting him to the police might be the best course of action
xx
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