A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently pursued a relationship with a girl I met in a college class. I initially requested to go to a movie and she replied that she was busy. A day after I asked, she initiated two conversations on facebook that lasted around an hour each. I thought- great maybe she was "just busy", so we occasionally had conversations on facebook about every other day or every third day. During one of these conversations- she pulled my number and sent me a text out of the blue on a thursdat when I was already talking to her on facebook. So, I decided to call her up and ask to go out for dinner on saturday- she said yes and that she loved the restaraunt I recommended. Then the day before the planned date she sent me a text saying that, even though she was listed as single, she was unofficially seeing someone- but suggested that we could still hang out if i wanted to. Saying, "I totally understand if you don't want to" But I figured I didn't want to be an ass and have the attitude well- "whatever screw you". This is where it gets confusing- instead of going out to eat she suggested I come over to her place. So I said sure, sounds good. Then, yet again - i got a text later saying that she couldn't again because her sister was coming to town- but I got an IOU...lol - what the heck is going on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): Thanks for the advice- I am open for more opinions as well! Is there any hope for a relationship in the future if I decided to be happy with friendship for the time being? I still don't understand why she would waste her time talking to me for hours and lifting my number off of facebook if something wasn't up but, I guess I'd like some female opinions on this as well! Thanks everyone for your time and help thus far.
A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (1 August 2009):
People get busy and her cancelling on you twice is not really out of the ordinary. It's not like she told you no and then you bumped into her in a bar an hour later.
She's "unofficially" seeing someone; it sounds like she might be looking for just a friend. If so, then you have to decide what you want. I know you didn't want to come off with an attitude when she told you, but by still agreeing to see her seems like you're telling her you're ok with just being friends. Is that what you want?
I'd also add from personal experience that if you are going to feel let down every time she cancels, then perhaps you should move on to someone who is not going to upset you.
best!
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