A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. When we met i had 2 children from the previous relationship, 6 mths and 1 years old, 18 months later i got pregnant with his child. Now 4 years on im having his 2nd baby. I know he loves me but he's got a funny way of showing it!! He's out all day, he dont work never has and hangs out with mates till all hours of the morning, he comes home and goes to bed and the cycle repeats.im sooo sick of the way he treats me and talks to me. I've been good to him in the past as when i met him i always provided for him. Now he has money he dont help out with bills or things towards the children's stuff. I've spoke to him but he just tells me to shutup and goes on like everything's ok. I've got 3 children and one on the way and he dont help me out whatsoever, yet he's been living with me for 3 and half years. Please help me with some advice as to what could be going on his head.
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male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (24 March 2010):
Poor you! He doesn't seem to know what he wants. i fear he is using you and this relationship is going nowehere.
Tell him how you feel or tell him to leave. The way I see it as better to the pain now and be rid of him!
Why are we shits to each other? How do you know it is his mates it might just as well be another woman, he is seeing?
Why not you are just his door mat!
A
female
reader, lola16182  +, writes (24 March 2010):
Honey I think this guy is using you. You say he doesn't work and just hangs out with his friends all the time...well let me guess you work to bring in money and take care of the kids right? He doesn't help with bills or money for the kids? He sounds really irresponsible. And he's telling you to shutup about the subject because he doesn't want to hear it for fear of actually having to take some responsibility. He's got it made in the shade right now and has everything going for him without having to lift a finger.The only ways you are going to get this cycle to change is sitting him down to have this discussion and tell him to let you finish so he doesn't try to cut you off. Or you may have to give him an ultimatum--this would be the extreme because it could entail leaving him. You ultimately have to decide what's best for yourself...would you rather stay with him like this and be unhappy or do you want a fresh start, or do you want to consider giving him some time to try and change and then make your decision? It's ultimately up to you but I wouldn't stand for somebody like that that is freeloading off of you
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