A
male
age
30-35,
*ilveknifex
writes:me and this girl have been talking, for quite sometime almost 5 months, we went out for 2 but she wasnt ready for a realtionship, i beleive she didnt have full closure on her ex ( they went out for three years), soo we still talked and hung out, flirted, kissed sometimes, i have told her i loved her and she beleives me, shes told me i mean ALOT to her, somwtimes after she finally got closure from her ex, she told me, shes not ready for a realtionship right now, which is understandable i understand people need healing time, yet we still talk every night, recently somethings been bothering her, i found out lat night, but she didnt wanna talk about it, about 2 weeks ago, she said she might be falling in love with me, the next day, she said shes finally glad she can say she does love me, and then the next day, she actually said the words to me, it was that feeling of joy you cant describe with words, but the next day, she said shes still not ready for a relationship, and before she told me she loved me, she said shes scared because she didnt think she would find love so soon after her ex, ( it seems she is putting a time limit, or was hopeless), so now here i am we still talk and hang out, last night i asked her to prom and she said yes, we hung out sometimes after, but she seems irriated, about something, i can tell, i truly beleive she does love me, because when i had told he, she told me to make sure i meant it, because there storng words, she once said if she could have anything, it was that iw oudl be there for her no matter waht happens, its just weird, i dun understadn fully wahts going on in her mind right now, i think she does love me, bu isnt ready to accept it, or maybe shes not comfortable about talking about it, becauyse shes not ready to start a realtionship, yet we still talk every day text in the morning, and say good night, i love this girl to death, and i dont wanna lose her, what can i do? to help her.
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female
reader, ladyinlondon  +, writes (15 March 2009):
I think this girl is really confused, just as much as you are. I beleive she does have feelings for you but evidently they are not that strong. If she were 100% sure she would be with you, i mean why not?? if she loves there would be nothing holding her back..right? sweetheart i agree with "honest answers" back off a little and tell her your in a difficult position and so your gona give her some time to get things right in her head, use this time for yourself also and find other things to take your mind off her....good luck x
A
female
reader, Honest_Answers +, writes (15 March 2009):
 Honey I have to be honest with you, it sounds like this girl is wasting your time.
There is no such thing as 'too soon' or 'needing time to heal', she's just using getout clauses. She knows how keen you are on her and is using you to make herself feel better after her relationship ended.
Cool off and back off, that way you will be able to see whether she is really feeling like this. If you back off and calm down then she can have chance to miss you and make her mind up. I'm not advising you to play games but just be wary of how slow things are moving from her point of view.
I've gone from a two year relationship into a new one within two weeks. Time is no marker.
You seem lovely, so just beware.
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