A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok so just 2 days ago i saw my old science teacher who i had when i was in eighth grade. im really attracted to him and i know the feeling was mutual when he was my teacher. but i wonder if the feeling still is? Now I'm 17 and I believe he is 30 and i saw him at my best friends house. he's become really close to her family cuz her little brother did wrestling and he was the coach. so he was drinking beer and having a good time and she invited me over that same night. Before i got there i knew he was there and my heart started to beat really fast. I got so nervous , i guess its because I can't stop thinking about him. for the past 3 years i've been obsessed with the possibility of being with him. i know in the back of my head that this is a relatio nship that will prob never happen but i cant help to think what if. anyway when he saw me you can tell he felt uncomfortable and he put on this stiff smile and kept looking at me as i said hey to everyone who was there. anyway i think its weird how we always a lot. the last time i saw him before this was in may at an orientation at my school. its always weird when we see eachother idk if its becuz he thinks i want him or if he feels the same way about me. I started having feelings of attraction for him when he started to give me a lot of Attention in his class. he would always compliment my outfits and use me as a perfect student example. i guess him making me feel so pretty provoked my feelings. also he always always stared at me and i could feel his eyes gazing at me from even far away. everytime i see him he does the same staring thing. i really like him and it sucks cuz everytime i see him and the time ends, i get upset after. Not like crying upset but like i wish there was more. why did i have to be a former student? now he would feel uncomfortable if anything were to happen. so basically i wonder if my destiny includes him. it sounds stupid but i wonder why i always see him, why i always dream about him. its frustrating to think if he feels the same way! ahhhh i need to get over him but i CANT and ive lost a sense of confidence and truth about myself throuhout my high school career. i wish i never really had him as my teacher because now i'm so desperate for him and i keep trying to find a guy to fill that spot now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): Wow, no you cant help who you like, but you have to realize that any expectations he would have for you are not gonna fall in place with yours. You are 17 and I know you are tired of hearing this, but that is extremely young to be messing with a guy that age. I'm not saying age differences matter that much, but speaking from someone close to his age I would say you are probably not looking for the same things he is at his age. Also, if all he wants is a fling, then it will probably end up hurting you alot. I say do your best to back away from him and move on. You ARE still very young and the right guy will come along,... and you will know it.
A
female
reader, purple_butterfly  +, writes (16 August 2009):
The potential problem in you thinking like this about your teacher is that it cannot happen. he might be married or in a relationship and also because there is a 13 yr difference. I just think its guna be a lot complicated because you dont even know what he feels about you... The only solution I have to this is that try to distract yourself when you find yourself obsessing over him. Try to focus your feelings on some other activity. Make yourself happy through some other means when you find yourself crying about this. I know how youre trying to find a guy to fill the spot and that has happened to me. A lot of people call it rebound but that will leave u hurt too because soon after you think you like him, youd realise that you dont have too strong of a feeling for him. A few things to do : Get your logic straight about the situation ( that he might not be liking you and that relationship with a former teacher can be complciated) , then try to find sumthing to focus your attention on and wait till you get sumone who youd really like and who youd like back. Its very hard to do i realise. But at times, its better to be logical than follow whatever our stupid heart asks us to doI hope it helped!god bless you dearand I pray for the best of you.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (16 August 2009):
 awwww you sound so conflicted, the yearnings of the heart can be so demanding. Your almost 18 in some states 17 is legal so from a legal stand point this probably wouldnt have a problem getting with you. Socially it could be awkward your families might not like it of course they she be happy that you found a good man thats educated and has a job but our society is contradictive they would find it more susceptible for you to get with a 17 yr old boy that has nothing to offer.If you feel so strongly for this man go for it better then having regret im sure he likes you you cant help who you like, start off slow with him.
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