A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at work during the summer and we've been in what could be considered a casual relationship for the past 5months, meaning that we have a sexual relationship but we also do just hang out and talk. It's very relaxed, no obligations. Since it's Christmas and his birthday around the same time, I wanted to get him something small but I have no idea what you get someone you have that kind of relationship with? Obviously it's not going to be something expensive because he's not my boyfriend, but I don't want to give him nothing and seem like I don't care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update!
So after he offered to help me get my car from the mechanic, he gave me a CD he put together lol and I gave him fuzzy Christmas socks later that day, mostly cause I thought they were cute. He promised to wear them on Christmas day and then txted me to let me know that he actually was. :)
Thanks for all the suggestions!
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (22 December 2009):
In that case invite him to dinner in a decent restaurant. Good for you keeping him guessing. This is what guys normally do to us so enjoy to the max. If it ain't broken then don't fix it. If its working for you then why not. It really takes the pressure off if you can cope with it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): I don't get it. You're giving away your most precious possession for kicks and you want to give HIM a gift;to someone you do not want a relationship with? I don't think the gift of yourself needs to be accompanied by an unworthy, mediocre one that could be but a base competitor. If anything, I'd say that your desire to give him a gift is your sneaky way to kick your tenuous union up a gear to some type of relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust fyi: We don't really consider this a friends with benefits thing (which is why I didn't use that term in my explanation and that question was generated by whoever approves these things). He actually gets a bit upset when I treat it as a just FWB. He has tried to talk about "feelings" but I usually turn him away from it. I don't think he wants a relationship and neither do I.
The gift is more to show him that I don't think of him as just a f*ck buddy/piece of a** because we've always been more respectful and considerate than that. So trust me, between the two of us, I'm the more distant, mysterious one and I feel a bit bad about it. For example, I've been to his house, met a few of his friends and his roommates, and accidentally his parents and while he's never been to my place, hasn't met a single one of my friends and doesn't even know any of their names.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe only issue with a gift card is he'll know how much $ is on it... and anything less than $20 looks so cheap/tacky. So how much should I put on a gift card, if I decided to go with that?
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (22 December 2009):
I think if you buy him something that you personally chose it will seem as though you are hinting at moving the relationship to the next level. Just get him a gift voucher from a department store and he can choose something himself.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 a giftcard seems casual enough kind of the no strings style..
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A
female
reader, baybay +, writes (22 December 2009):
 duh get him somthing from lotions and lace that sex shop ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): Well just by reading your question I knew oit was a girl asking. A guy would never ask that about someone he considered a "friend with benefits." He would never ask that because he would never consider getting a "friend with benefits" a gift. If knowing this still hasn't dissuaded you from wanting to get him a gift then my suggestions are get him a flower that you pick from your front yard. Anything sweet and perishable will do just fine. Because a man who is having sex with you with no obligation is not really your friend, someone who truly cares about you. Whatever you get him I guarantee you are going to wish you hadn't once you see him comitted to another girl which will happen sooner than later. Like I said keep it sweet and effortless. Don't work too hard for this one.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (22 December 2009):
 A nice card and a great blow job would probably suffice, especially if the oral satisfaction is not already part of the repertoire. If it is, then do something a bit different this time. Perhaps add a bottle of wine or a case of beer.
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