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male
age
41-50,
*awika
writes:Whatever happened to those days of those true passionate romance? You know the ones like Romeo and Juliet. Their passion for each other was not only idyllic, but powerful and sexy. They never once hesitated in expressing and showing their love and affections for one another. Nothing could've separated them...not wealth, prestige, people, or even death. They could've cared less about what other people thought. In our world of playing games and correctness, wouldn't it be refreshing to have a relationship that is both openly and freely expressive? I just think sometimes we have become so sophisticated that our egos and pride sometimes get in the way. We fear getting hurt, so we build this huge invisible wall around our hearts so that no one can come in. We begin to think too much instead of letting our hearts guide us. We think expressing one's affections is a sign of weakness rather than strength. My friends tell me I'm old fashioned, but am I the only one that feels this way? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): dude, i totally agree with you. I've written girls loveletters, poems, bought them roses...all my friends ask me for relationshsip advice, somtimes they even ask me for romance they can use on their bfs/gfs!but the sad truth of today is, nice guys finish last. no girl wants romance these days... in my opinion love's gone out of fashion.
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reader, notluckeinluv +, writes (27 February 2008):
bravo..... thank you for that. back when love was so strong, that is truly all you needed, not porn, not the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, just pure strong illustriuos love, totally give all you have to the one you love and they cherish it. and the fact that you have done so, makes them respect that. now adays, there is nothing sacred, there is no respect for the others feelings, if there is it is one sided.... oh i wish for those days as well. i am not that old, but old fashioned i must be as well...
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reader, Kawika +, writes (27 February 2008):
Kawika is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all your insights. Yup, I think I used the wrong illustration in choosing Romeo and Juliet as my focal point. I was looking more for context, meaning, and the message rather than literal assumptions. My bad...
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): i dont think it really matters that romeo and juliet was fiction, the point is that it was a great love story, it dealt with the issue of love and passion and romance, all of these things exist today in reality. I certainly agree with others that sex, arrogance and such get in the way, that it is more rare due to the era we live in, sex seems to be everywhere and also that we will keep evolving and changing e.g. new slang, fashion, laws. It seems to me love and romance comes from the heart though it all boils down to one thing to me if you're in with love someone and they love you, it doesnt matter what the rest of the world think really all you need is them to make you happy, isnt that what love should be? Also, i think that culture is an issue, lots of cultures have completely different spins on love and passion and some literature, although fiction, is very reflective on the different views of cultures e.g. antony and cleopatra another shakepeare play however it's supposed to have a good reflection on traditional roman and egyptian values, particularly on love. I know what you mean when you say how your view is considered old-fashioned but ive actually met loads of people who have these same values of traditional love and i think there are a lot of romantics out there and a lot of realists. We are all essentially the same at heart, most of us capable of love and i think that just cos there's maybe less of romantic inclined people about they definitely still exist.I think if i loved someone i would follow my heart, love is obviously a wonderful thing and i would freely express it regardless of todays views in society x
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): You comparing romance to Romeo and Juliet is like me comparing the real world with a Picasso. Have you ever seen a Picasso, how abstract it is from reality?? Its like if I looked at a Picasso portrait, with his unrealistic hues and distorted shapes, and took it to represent what the world looked like back then, and said "Gosh, the world back then looked so different than it looks now. What's happened to the world?" You'd probably laugh at me. Right? The romance Shakespeare wrote about was just a figment of his imagination (or somebody else's imagination, I heard he copied alot) just as the world Picasso painted was a figment of his. You have to understand that art and literature and any sort art form can be very subjective. When reading or looking at art, you have to learn to be a little more critical in the way you analyze the information that it expresses. Furthermore, the fact that Romeo and Juliet take their own lives had nothing to do with romance. Just like nowadays we like and expect happy endings, back then audiences liked and expected tragedies. It didn't matter if the play had to do with romance or war or friendship, whatever. The hero and heroine were always expected to die at the end of the play. That was just the style.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): I think that is a great thoughtful question. Well I just wanted to clear up a few things first, and maybe it will shed some light on your question. One of the biggest misconceptions that alot of people seem to have about the world is that progress occurs in a continual upward slope. But as far as we know, IT DOESN'T. History occurs in cycles (this is inevitable). Ever heard the expression "what goes up must come down"?
So the idea that the world as we know it today is eons apart from the world that existed only 500 years ago, is a huge misconception. As long as the conditions needed for our race to survive still exist (so we don't mutate to a different animal form, in which case we would be very different) our DNA is still the same. Just like fashion trends change every season, so do attitudes and art and architecture, from time period to time period. Remember when it was cool to say "wicked" and wear Jnco jeans and slap bracelets?? That was only about 15 years ago. Even though slangs and tastes have changed drastically since then, our DNA is still the same. We are the same humans with the same problems and the same desires and so on. As long as our DNA is at most 1% different from any other human being on earth, I guarantee you we are not that much different from our ancestors. So I hate to disappoint you, but unless our DNA changed, we are no more sophisticated or different than Shakespeare. We are essentially the exact same.
Furthermore, Romeo and Juliet was a PLAY. And it was FICTION. That means that it was a made up story. So its not necessarily an accurate impression of what romance was like in real life, at all. It was just the style of writing and expression at the time. Very dramatic plots and scenarios. That is probably why they call it "drama." Theatre is theatre. Its not the real world. And back in those days too, artists/writers in general were very iconographic. It was very much the style back then, so one thing was really meant to symbolize something else. Furthermore, tragedy and romance is still a huge theme in theatre and even in script writing today. Ever watch movies or plays? In fact, in the last ten years, Shakespeare plays have been adapted to the screen at least 5 times.
And the last point I want to make is to agree with the below post, anna lisa, who points out that different cultures have different ways of viewing the world. Her Italian ancestry is way more romantic and sees the world much differently than the world you are used to, which is perhaps more cold and serious. Romance cultures, to this day, are pretty much the same as they always were. Very romantic, expressive, idealistic about love. As long as their DNA hasn't changed, neither have they, really. Just like perhaps your ancestry and surroundings came from a different culture, that valued other things, so did theirs. So you read Shakespeare and wonder what happened to those times. Nothing happened to those times. They still exist just not in your neck of the woods.
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reader, Lucy2118  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 Your not the only that feels that way, i do to. However, in modern day life romance and passion don't exist anymore, sex, arrongance and pride get the in. I remember when my grandad sent my granma a valentines day card in secret, he wrote he poem about how much she meant to him and how much he loved her, no one does things like that anymore. Not many people let their feelings give away anymore, due to heart break in past relationships, that make them scared to trust and be swept off of their feet, which result in not being able to love. Every person in the world is capable of it, love i mean. But many people don'y know what love is anymore, they need to be reminded that it's not all about sex or romantic gestures or even having laugh with one another. But everyone has a different opinion on what love is, what is does and how it feels.
What is love?
I believe love is that feeling deep in your heart, that makes you feel wanted and secure, thats so special that you can't eat or sleep until you know that you loved one is safe. The feeling that makes you want to phone them three seconds after you've put the phone down to see what their doing even though you know already, but you want to hear the voice that gives you butterflies. The voice that you will soon be with on the sofa, snuggled up and telling you how much they love you.
Everyone wants to love and everyone wants to be loved in return.
X
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): Hey Hunny
You are not old fashioned you are one in a million, And Ive got a lovely fiance who treats me with respect love and is kind and caring, We say ELEPHANT JUICE!!!! As if you say this in mime it looks like I love you. So hunny you are def one in a million hunny and you will make someone a wonderfull husband someday love TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 Romance is for a woman to enjoy, as if fulfills an emotional need of women. A man that desires this much drama will come off as needy, and resulting in being deemed less attractive.
Next, the STORY of Romeo and Julliet, to my knowledge, is not HISTORICAL, it is FICTION. That means, you are basing your impressions of "how things were" by watching a play, and not based on how people really behaved. The reality is people acted the way they did, not the way media protrays them. It is like assuming that because you watch professional wrestling, that is a reflection of how people treat each other in real live all the time. See what I mean?
It is OK for a man to enjoy the romances, and to create the romance, but it is not OK to NEED the romance. See the diff? This type of mindset will make it easy for a person to use you. Ask any woman that craved romance so much she was willing to be in denial for the way she was being treated outside the romance, until it was too late.
If all you have is the romance, without the love, then all you are left with is lust and empty promises.
-Frank B Kermit
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