A
female
age
30-35,
*89456
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for 9 months now. i was happy with him until his baby's mother or his ex started bothering us, especially me. she is like a crazy stalker. she calls my cell phone and left 15 missed calls. she called my parents phone and talked to my mother! who knows what she told my mom because now my mom doesnt want me to be with my boyfriend, and she keeps sending my boyfriend emails...eventhough he ignore and spammed her.i told my boyfriend to tell her that we are together now and to please leave us alone, but he does not want to tell her anything. he still talks to her on the phone supposedly because of their kid..he said that if he gets her mad she wont let him see his baby..and he told me that i will always come second..i dont know..he tells me he that he loves me every time we talk and he has plans of marrying me but i dont know..he said things will be different once were married. Whenever I try and talk to him about these things, he always ends up making me feel like the one in the wrong and possessive. all i tell him is to please let his ex know that he's with someone else already, but he says he will not do anything. i dont know how to handle this situation. we always end up fighting.i considered leaving him, but i cant do it.. he tells me he will make it work. I have a lot on my mind. this is making me so unhappy. this is affecting me so much. i cant focus cuz i get so distracted. sometimes i cant sleep.please tell me what you would do if you were in my position.. your advice would be really helpful. - thank you.
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female
reader, puzzledpixie +, writes (14 June 2009):
If i was you, i would leave him. It sounds way too complicated to get involved with, the problem of the ex will never go away she will always try to get between you and your partner out of jealousy. They have a child together therefore she's always in his life, and that means she will always be in yours. You are so young! And you have your own life to live, they will always be other guys, he just isnt the one for you. It may be hard to leave him but in less than a year you will of moved on and you will see how much better off you are.
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A
female
reader, alexroliepolie  +, writes (14 June 2009):
 Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is that he is obviously not going to tell his ex to leave you two alone. He has a child with her and that is an extremely difficult situation. If the baby didn't mean anything to him, then he probably would just tell her to butt out, but if he's wanting contact with his child, he has to play nice with his ex, because girls will use any rudeness as an excuse to get full custody. If you get married to him, then things will be different, depending on his ex's and child's involvement in your lives. She may see that he has a wife and will move on to someone else, or seeing how she is now, she may do the same thing as she's currently doing, this harassment type of thing. Maybe you should find out why she is "stalking" you guys, as you say. Have the three of you sat down and talked about it? I dunno, I've had a similar situation, but a child wasn't involved, so that changes everything. I wish you much luck! Just live, and be happy... Everything will turn out okay, no matter what happens.
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