A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:After dating my current boyfriend for a month, he started the marriage/ live together talk. I said it was too soon, obviously. We both have a child, his lives with the mother. He pressed the idea a lot, even going as far as talking to my religious parents. After I gave in, I said, let's aim for the end of the year so at least we spend more time getting to know each other. He had me picking out new stuff for the house, etc. Now, he realizes its too soon and said we need to wait until next year. I'm angry and disappointed he said this after practically begging me to move in for several weeks. I feel like he doesnt think before making decisions because he obviously didn't think this whole idea through. Some friends say I should break up with him after seeing how sad I was. I do agree it was too soon anyway. It's the fact that he pressed the issue so much, had me doing stuff to prepare for the move. Only to change his mind. I don't even feel comfortable going to his house now. I really hate this uncomfortable feeling I now feel towards him. We had a long talk and he said he wouldn't make such decisions without thinking it all through ever again. What would you do if a partner pushed you into something and then backs out? I don't know how to proceed with this relationship. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (12 April 2012):
 It all sounds very odd , he was overcome with lust/love and wanting to secure you in the relationship , now that initial head rush has worn off hes being sensable
I think you should have stood your ground and told him no way for a long time , not let him persuade you to go along with it all
He seems to be the one leading in this relationship and you just accept his choices
Take an equal stance . discuss everything . it should be 50/50
If you feel like you cannot accept his behaviour or be his equal ,this is the time to finish it
A
female
reader, cmarieky  +, writes (12 April 2012):
I would definitely be looking for the exit door from a partner like that. It's immature to make a decision and have another person follow only to abandon the decision saying its too soon. Infatuation in a relationship lasts up til a year or year and a half depending on how much time you spend together. It's red flags from every angle. It shows he's indecisive, often make big decisions he later regrets, and unable to make logic decisions on his own. He's a bit of an extremist.....go so far with an idea even convince you to follow suit and only for him to recant his decision and thus breaking a part of you. A relationship with this man will be one disappointment after the other. And if he is anywhere near your age range than believe me all the more. You want reliability in a partner, you want when your partner take you on an alternate route he knows the way for certain. This you do not have with him. I know everyone makes mistake. But with both of you being parents already your decision making must be sound. How bout you do move in together marry and all....and he convince you to move with him to another state where you're both offered amazing opportunities. Only to make the move and things fall through the roof and he say this wasn't a good idea. Listen to your own brain on this one. Is this what you want? Best wishes on your decision
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