A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear readers,I have two very close male friends. Both are gay. One of them is my very best friend (let's call him E). The other is also a good friend (we can call him D). We have quite a close group. My best friend E has been single for quite some time now. D, on the other hand, has been in a turbulent relationship for the past year. Him and his boyfriend were always having the worst fights. They never seemed to want to spend any time together and all the while when D was drifting apart from his boyfriend, him and E were getting closer together. I felt that there was an attraction between them. It is quite obvious that they are perfect for each other in so many ways. They share so many interests and there's definitely a mutual physical attraction. Finally, after months of me speculating that E and D liked one another, E confided in me one night that he is attracted to D. Shortly after this, D broke up with his boyfriend. I thought "perfect. Now they can get together". But that didn't happen...Instead, D started sleeping around with different guys and even had 2 new "boyfriends" in the space of 2 weeks! Suddenly, E started saying he was no longer attracted to D. D hasn't confided in me directly his feelings for E, but it is so obvious that they love each other. It breaks my heart. When I'm out with D, all he can talk about is E and always wants to invite him out. They are awkward around each other. D would always flirt with E but E would be too shy to realise what was going on. I keep telling E that D is crazy about him but he won't listen. He says "well if D is so mad about me why is he going off with all these other guys?"Now here's the current situation. Just a few days ago, D got back together with the horrible bad boyfriend. Since they've gotten back together, they've done nothing but fight. All the while D is trying to avoid his boyfriend as much as possible and trying to spend as much time as possible with E. I think D is displaying the classic signs of being head over heels in love with E. -He's always trying to set him up with other guys.-He flirts with him such as offering him a bite of his food or a taste of his drink. He doesn't offer this to anyone else.-He always wants to spend time with him and anytime we go out he says "oh let's see if E is free tonight"-He gets awkward and nervous around himNow, I'm afraid that D has ruined things forever. He's back with the awful boyfriend that he doesn't even love and his behaviour is pushing E further and further away. E is now trying to convince himself that there's nothing between him and D. I think E is put off by D's behaviour. These two people that I care about so much clearly love each other. I'm afraid they are turning down a chance for real happiness together. If only they could see what they are doing. So... I am thinking of talking to D about this. But I don't want to betray E's trust. I don't want to meddle in my friends' lives, but I think they could be throwing away a potentially great thing.What should I do?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 You may end up minus two friends if you meddle in their love lives. Leave it be. A good friend knows when to mind their own beeswax.
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (12 April 2012):
 You should do exactly what you said- do not meddle in their love lives. Don't try to play match maker. They are grown men, and want to start a relationship, they will do it on their own terms.
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