A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 16... There's this girl that I have known since first grade. This is a long story, but I really need to know what my chances are with her, and what I need to do to get her back. Story: When we were in first grade, she liked me... alot, and I liked her too. After that school year, she stopped feeling that way, but I didn't. We stayed really close friends until 2006 when I finally got the courage to ask her out... She said no. My cousin, who I'm still thankful for convinced her to say yes for me. Later that day, which happened to be her tenth birthday, we met at the skating rink for her party. There was no kiss, no flirting, never a mention of our new relationship. Just a "Hey" and a hug. As time passed, our relationship never seemed to advance. We never kissed, talked on the phone, never had one of those "talk about us" moments, or anything else romantic. When summer of 2007 came around, I decided to ask a friend of mind to break up with her for me. After that was done, I thought all was fine. We still texted each other every day and stayed close friends. In 2008, she had a house party and invited me, my friend Jared, and some of her friends from her school. This is where I feel everything went down the drain. It all started when I tried to make a joke. I said "Hey everybody, just letting you know I'm a terrorist and if I press 5 on my phone, everything is gonna blow up." It got some quick pity laughs, and things kept rolling along smoothly. A few minutes later, I said it again. This time, everyone just stopped and looked at me with an expression that said "What the f**k is wrong with you?". After the quick awkward silence, things were back to normal. I remember how shy I was being the whole time, and how I felt socially invalid. Even after that party, and my awkward moment, we continued to text each other daily. In 2009, after breaking up with another girl, I started to develop feelings for the first girl again. We still texted each other, even though not quite as often a before. I asked her out again and gave me the infamous "I like you as a friend line". I kept my feelings for her with me for the next two and a half years. In late December of 2011, I finally just poured my heart out to her, letting her know exactly how I felt. I couldn't hold it in any longer. We talked about finishing the conversation at a new years eve church service. Once I got there, I texted her, asking her if we could talk. I got no reply. I spent new years day this year sad and angry. I haven't spoken to her since then, but I can't stop thinking of her. I really want a second chance. Please help me. Tell me if there is anything I can do. What would I need to do to get her back?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): You need to quit chasing her in your mind. That ship has sailed, you are spending time and energy on something that if was going to happen,
Good luck. And btw you will find someone else
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 I really don't think that there is anything you can do to get this girl back. I think all she has ever felt for you is friendship. If that is the case well then you cannot make her change her mind. I know it is hard when feelings are not returned, but if she never replied back to you after you spilt your heart out to her I doubt you will ever get her. I think it is time to move on.
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A
female
reader, G's_Girl  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Hi Anonymous,I'm sorry but the chances are slim. She liked you a lot in 1st grade... then she stopped feeling that way. The history:1)In 2006 you asked her out officially - she said NO.2)Your cousin convinced her to change her mind? Then it was not her decision, she just went along with it. Why be with someone you had to coerce to be with you? The proof is that the relationship didn't advance. She wasn't into you, despite your being close friends. 3) When you "broke up" with her in 2007, it was a lame thing to do asking a friend to do it for you. At the time, if you had done it yourself, you would have known how she felt, why it hadn't advanced, etc. and be put out of your misery sooner?4) In 2009 when you were available again and developed feelings for her again, you tried once more. Her answer? "I like you as a friend". There you have it. Aside for 1st grade when we are still discovering ourselves, our personalities and the people around us, she liked you, but she outgrew it. Since then, there has been no indication on her part that she wants to date you. Good close friends, yes, more than that, sorry from what you have told us, she doesn't seem interested.5) In Dec. 2011 when you finally poured your heart out, this was the golden opportunity for her to really examine her heart and let you know if she did, or did not feel the same, once and for all. What did she do? She gave you no contact. That tells you what she feels. She wants to be your friend, and is not into you, even though you have, and always were, into her. You can't get a second chance for something that never really was. You can't have her out of pity. You can't force her to feel that way about you. All you can do, is move on.Maintain this wonderful friendship with her you have always had, but if it hurts too much and keeps your feelings alive, you need to distance yourself so you can focus on your life, your love interests. Realise and accept that she never really wanted you (sorry, sounds harsh but really she has given no indication otherwise) and that she will always be a treasured friend. Then give it some time so you can heal from the loss of that possibility, and start living again. Freely, as you look around you at all the other lovely girls out there, who one day you will find one that feels the same way about you! That is what you deserve, someone that is totally, completely head over heels in love with you, and wants to be with you in every sense of the word. Don't settle for someone you have to convince to be with you, that you hope will change their mind, or over time will feel something more. It's time to look forward, to the future, with someone meant just for you.Good luck and Best Wishes.
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