A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have had a unprotected sex quite a few times. I know it was stupid as I have condoms and I have birth control pills which I choose not to take.Long story short - I am a dumb fifteen year old I suppose. I've been on this site for a long time and I know I will be bashed for having unprotected sex.I think I might be pregnant, and the consequences will be severe if I am. I will be able to take a pregnancy test near the end of this month to see if I am pregnant or not.My mom told me that if I ever got pregnant, she would kick me out of the house. I have had a couple pregnancy scares in my life time and I know my mom would react outrageously. After the abortion she would MAKE me get, I probably would NEVER be able to see my boyfriend again.I can't help but think my mother should be supportive, even though I made a mistake. My mom had an abortion when she was sixteen, so is this all even right?I wonder if these are the consequences I'd have to live with - even though I'd want my boyfriend to be around for support as we both would probably be devastated at the fact that we could of had a child together.Some helpful tips for what may be the outcome?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 July 2009):
 I think the reason your mother is hard on you, when it comes to birth control/sex/pregnancy is because she has been there done that, and she is still feeling the consequences emotionally.
Surprised? I know several GROWN women, who in their late teens had a abortion and they are still suffering emotionally over what they did.
So I totally understand your mom.
Like a couple of the posters wrote, YOU maybe getting pregnant wasn't a mistake. You CHOOSE to NOT use protection even if you have it. That to me speaks volumes. Why don't you respect yourself enough to NOT have any more pregnancy scares? Why are you purposely sabotaging your life? You might not realize it, but this sexual carelessness is the WRONG way to rebel.
Having an abortion is not like dropping of clothes at the dry cleaners. Or having your tonsils out.
If you are pregnant, what do you want to do? Become a mother? As careless as you are with your body, how well are you going to do as a mother? Can you afford the care of a child? Do you have a job? Do you plan on getting any kind of education? Don't you have any hopes or dreams for the future?
Are you going to give the child up for adoption? Or expect your mom to raise the child?
Or will you have an abortion? You carelessly created a little life and you are now more worried about yourself?
I think you need to sit and talk with your mom and truly listen to her. Then you need to reevaluate your life. You are 15. You have your WHOLE life ahead of you. There is more to life then having sex. ( using protection or not) Have some self respect and self value.
I don't know what will be the outcome, but if you were my daughter I would BE there for you no matter what you chose, but I would also MAKE you see a counselor. I would do my out most in helping you rebuild your self esteem. And I would expect you to stop having sex til you are old and SMART enough to use protection EVERY time.
A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (10 July 2009):
It wasn't a mistake, it was a conscious stupid decision, there's a difference.You're mother is angry because she doesn't want you to have to go through the same thing she did. Having an abortion is an extreme emotional and painful process. It's not like having your teeth cleaned at the dentist. If you are pregnant then your body is being flooded with hormones which can put you into different emotional states.You may be able to take the morning after pill, but you would need to consult a doctor about that decision.And listen dumb 15 year old, getting pregnant isn't stupid or a mistake, it's an 18+ year commitment to someone and even more. If you have a child your life will no longer be the same, no more going out with friends to parties or just to hang out. You will be permanently tied down now with your son or daughter. Think about that the next time before you decide to have unprotected sex.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (10 July 2009):
Well first off a "mistake" is something that usually only happens once, and usually when you don't know any better. But you admit to "being dumb" about the way you choose to have sex. You KNOW you should have used protection and you chose not to. Maybe I can understand why u would avoid the condom- bc of the way it feels- but WHY NOT TAKE THE PILLS!?!? So your mom being "supportive, even tho you made a mistake" isn't the case here. You are responsible for this, your Mother will have your best interest at heart when it comes down to it. If you are pregnant and dont want an abortion you can refuse it. They cant do one without your consent, but I would think about other options. A lot of families can't have kids and would give your baby a great home. Most girls your age have babies and silly little fantasies of their boyfriend and them living happily ever after but many times the bf leaves shortly after and the baby is dumped with grandma to raise him/her. Be wise, please.
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