A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i really need some help here... Im a really shy girl and have a really weird way of doing things, its difficult to put into words, i can talk to someone via sms or email, even writing them a letter but face to face i cant talk, even if it is the same person. I want to move out of shell and do new things. I dont have any friends what so ever, i have a really good male friend and thats about it. For the last 2 months he and i have been spending a lot of time together, now racing season has started again and his going to be busy with mechanical stuff on one of the races bike. I guess what im trying to say is, i want another friend or friends so when he is busy i wont be sitting around thinking of him wondering what he is doing but rather be busy myself so that when we are together ill rather be happy then upset with him cause of some stupid thought of neglection, which is not true, he is busy with all kind of things all the time, neglecting me is really not one of them... What should i do?
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female
reader, xxbaybeegal  +, writes (1 February 2009):
 Well, there's lots of stuff you can do. You can go on sites where you find friends in your local area - you never know, You could go out with your male friend to the clubs or something then maybe you would meet other people, or [if you work] ask the girls/boys if they'd want to go for a drink and make some new friends. I'm a shy girl too but you need to let that distraction be put aside or you'll never really make friends
A
male
reader, Leonardo  +, writes (1 February 2009):
I read recently in the news that scientists have discovered that shyness is an inherited trait. So you were born with this tendency to be shy in your genes.Knowing that you have this weakness should tell you making friends is always going to be difficult. It doesn't make you strange, you must simply work a little harder at making friends. But all humans have their individual weaknesses - and we all must work a little harder in those areas where we are weak. One idea is to go to a quiet bar in another town where you won't be recognized. Recognize that this is a very safe place for you. You sit at a table or booth by yourself and some guy will come and talk with you. Think of things you are going to say beforehand. (Like, I am new in town and having trouble meeting people... do you like motocross? - that should get the conversation started.) If you start to feel overwhelmed, you can excuse yourself anytime to go to the bathroom and slip out the door. A place like this is perfectly safe because no one knows you, no one will remember you - and you get some real time in practicing your self-confidence. Plus, you might meet someone!
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