A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:She is 20 this year and is in a relationship with her bf for 5 years already. They have broke up but then patched back many times. Her bf is very possessive, slapped her before 2 yrs back, emotionally abusive at times and she has cried a lot in this relationship, but still, she chooses to be with him thinking he might change one day. What will happen if she stays or get married to him? There are happy moments with him, but she knows she's in a unhealthy relationship. What will happen if she stays or get married to him?
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (13 January 2011):
If she marries him, their relationship will probably continue the same way it has now but just be worse. His possessiveness will probably increase, he will probably become even more restrictive of her and the emotional abuse will probably be more frequent. And thus she will probably cry a lot more, and try to leave. But once married it's much harder to leave so she will probably go back again. Or she may not even try to leave just stay and be miserable. of course there are happy moments - most abusive relationships have some (albeit rare) happy moments, those are what keeps the victim confused enough that they continue to stay. that and the fact that the abuse she has already endured has worn down her self confidence so she is dependent on him even though she knows it's unhealthy for her or she hates the relationship. she's probably too emotionally weak from having been worn down in this relationship, to be able to leave him for good. Probably when she leaves he hunts her down or begs her to come back promising change, and because she's already in a weakened state and there's some happy moments she caves in.This cycle will probably continue on if she gets married, and just be intensified. She really shouldn't get married to this guy. but in a way you can't blame her if she does.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 Nobody can tell what will happen in the future. Only she can make the desicion on if she wants to get married, she knows what he is like therefore it is her choice on who she marries. If you are worried about her then sit down with her and talk to her and tell her how you feel, but am afraid you cannot make her do the healthy thing because its only for her to decide. Just be there for her as a friend and tell her you will help her with anything she needs.
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