A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i met this guy at the club he invited me to come over his friends' birthday party. I thought I was his date but he ditched me as soon as I got there. there were all complete strangers and I didn't know what to do. so I said I have to go home but he said I should stay to made some friends. then he left me alone lol so later he paired me with another guy and we got along well. and suddenly he came to me and was trying to stay with me and act like i was his date. I am not sure he likes me or just jealous of me with another guy
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): It was a friend's birthday party OP, what did you expect? For him to ignore them and talk to you all night? It was the person whose birthday it was's night, you were always going to be an after thought.
I don't think he was playing games or being intentionally mean I'd say he just thought you knew the deal, otherwise why agree to it?
It wasn't a date OP, it was friendly invitation to a party he thought you might enjoy, not everyone sits there not talking to anyone maybe how he saw you acting in the club he thought you'd mingle and have fun.
Now you can be pissed all you want but I personally think you got the wrong impression and were burned by your expectations. The real test is a real date. Let him ask you out for one of those and see what happens. If he doesn't, oh well he's gone and on to the next one.
One final thing OP, he may have been insanely nervous and invited you there because he is horrible at the dates thing. Maybe he avoided you a bit because of that and wanted to get a little more liquid courage in him first, he did meet you while drunk in a club like, maybe he's just crap at this sort of thing. Not everyone is great at dating etiquette OP, it may have been a simple matter of inexperience.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 October 2012):
 you met a guy and he said "come to a party now?"
or was this "come to a party next week?"
either way it's not a good start.
I'm learning over and over, that meeting a man and doing something casual and being "easy" about it means he won't think you are worth the effort and he won't treat you the way you should be treated as a potential date.
the fact that you said yes to him told him that you would not be that hard of a mark... that you were "desperate" for a man...
It feels like game playing... but I'm learning that "men love bitches".... they want that "game" of effort to get a girl...
next time a man invites you to do something spur of the moment, be busy. "sorry I can't I have prior plans" even if it's painting your toenails... if he asks what they are get all shocked and say "I don't really know you well enough to discuss my private life with you yet"
if he asks you out on a real DATE for the first one it should just be the two of you getting to know each other... anything else is just filler for him.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 He sounds like he is playing games, and nobody but him will know what his true intentions are.
He could be genuine and saw you at the club, thought his friend would like you and wanted to set you up. Or he could just be messing you around, seeing how you reacted to being left alone, seeing if you would actualy show up or not....
Regardless of what he is doing, the best idea is to leave him alone and move on. He sounds weird and not worth bothering about - forget about him!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 October 2012):
 He sounded like he wanted to have a female back up in case another girl fell through.
Next time go on a real date with a guy before going to something as "personal" as a birthday party. That way you will know his intentions beforehand.
It sounds rather shitty to invite you then ditch you, then try and pawn you off on someone else.
To be honest, it doesn't sound like he is really interested in you.
I'd let this one back in the pond.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): Or a 'hook-up' rather than a romance, would be a more appropriate term.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): Maybe he just wanted to be your friend, and to introduce you to his friends, and it was you who assumed just because he picked you up in a night club he was only after a romance of some sort with you.
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