A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:My boyfriend and I have only been dating a few months. We are both 25. He seems pretty serious about me. He asked me yet again if I want to marry one day. I was surprised no ex had ever asked me this question before. I didn't really know what to say. He says we haven't been dating long but if we're still together he wants to propose in 2 years. I casually mentioned my cousin being engaged before this. Then my boyfriend asked me how I wanted to get married. I replied I wasn't sure as I've never made it to that point before. What to say when he brings this up?
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female
reader, meccamega +, writes (21 December 2012):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were Also watching a Christmas movie and the main character had an unplanned pregnancy. He said that could be us. Meaning that birth control isnt fool proof. Yet I've taken it for years and nothing has happened. He also mentioned out of the blue that if I got pregnant, I would have to take my belly button piercing out. Weird
A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (20 December 2012):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou. Love letters are romantic I wish guys still sent them.
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A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (19 December 2012):
PLEASE(!!!) give him honest responses, but don't get too paranoid about the questions. He hasn't actually asked you to marry him, after all. A "few months" of dating has given him some preliminary indications that he'd consider you as a potential life partner, and he wants to know your thoughts about marriage - what it means to you, what you expect, how you'd make it work, etc. Those are things that couples SHOULD discuss when they feel they're getting serious about each other.
You might ask him about the "two year" timing. That strikes me as perhaps arbitrary - unless it's linked to some other event, such as completing a military enlistment, finishing college, receiving an inheritance that's been placed in trust, etc. Couples are often advised to know each other for at least a year before marrying, or perhaps even becoming engaged. It's not so much about just the length of the relationship (infatuations tend to run their course within a year or less), but more about being together through a variety of life experiences, good and bad, and the emotions that go along with them. You two aren't immature 16-year olds, so it's possible that you could make the decision to marry in a little less time.
(My wife and I have been married over 38 years. I proposed to her a little more than 3 months after we first laid eyes on each other, and we married only a year plus two weeks after we first met. We actually wrote to each other - real, serious, letters on real paper - for 3 months before we met. We started discussing some of those fundamental questions about marriage and relationships - at least in general terms - in those letters.
On the other hand, My son was 32 when he got married. He and his wife dated for almost 4 years before marriage, even though they were both mature, rsponsible adults when they met.)
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (19 December 2012):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut he also said if I got pregnant, do I know that I'd have to get rid of my belly button piercing. Usually he is paranoid about getting me pregnant.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (19 December 2012):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for answering me.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 December 2012):
 what you say is "well it's pretty early for us to be discussing specifics but as a general statement I can say that one day yes I'm not opposed to being married"
of course I knew early on in my relationships when I wanted to marry someone and most of the time so did the guy....
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Your boyfriend needs to cool his jets.
You two have only been dating a couple of months and he's already talking about walking down the aisle?! A little bit too desperate and pushy at 25. He probably has this projected age at what he wants to get married at and is trying to accomplish that goal soon. A big red flag.
Tell him how you really feel. Let him know you're not ready to talk about such future engagements, until that time comes. Rarely do they ever come true when you "fantasize" about them early on in a relationship. For now, just go with the flow of the relationship and getting to know one another. Enjoy the time you have together as boyfriend and girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, NerdyGuy  +, writes (18 December 2012):
I'm 21 and I'm a guy who WOULD ask my girl this type of question. The reason I didn't is because we carefully discussed our plans for the future and I know she won't like the subject, so I don't bring it up.
What I would love to hear as an anwser is:
"Of course I want to marry you. We both know we don't want to rush the whole thing. It has to be the right time."
But do you actually want to marry him? Ever? I would consider it OK to lie and see where it goes even if you don't, because later you might want to.
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