A
male
age
41-50,
*lacier
writes:I've been giving (hopefully useful) advice on Dear Cupid for a while, now I have a question myself.When I walk my dog I occassionally bump into this woman jogging. This has happened at least five times.The first time she actually saw me having fun with my dog.After that she always smiled and said hi to me. One time she was walking on the other side of a wide street. I caught her looking at me, she smiled, said hi and I returned it.This Saturday I got surprised by a rain shower. I took shelter and left after the rain kind of retreated. Unfortunatelly I left too soon.While it was starting to rain again we met again. I kind of smiled in a 'look at us getting all wet again' way and said hi. She smiled and returned the hi.So far we hadn't spoken but yesterday we met again. I asked her in a playful way if she managed to find shelter Saturday.She acted kind of surprised I asked. Next I asked her if she jogs a lot. I also teasingly asked if she jogs or texts more. She admitted on texting a lot.I introduced myself and asked some more questions like what she did for a living. So far things were going text book huh?Well, she answered those questions but unfortunatelly she was totally not interested in me. She noted my dog isn't that old is he but that was it.She didn't ask a single personal question. She acted a bit uncomfortable and literally took some distance while we were walking together. I don't think she's shy.Today we met again. I was kind of in ignore mode but when I looked she immediately smiled and said hi again.I realize there's a big difference between just being friendly and being into me.But from being friendly to having a friendly conversation is a small step, but for her it seems too much. I do this all the time with anyone.One possible conclusion could be she probably has a bf and avoids talking to me to avoid false signals.Your thoughts?
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male
reader, Glacier +, writes (18 June 2013):
Glacier is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been replaying this is my mind. She very well might have been a bit intimidated because I felt very confident while she was (a bit) nervous.Note that young people (I'd give her 24) become increasingly more ackward in real life because of all the online and texting activities.As a young guy I tended to freeze and didn't know what to say when with someone I really liked.Nowadays I can actually be a bit intimidating. I've come a long way.Today she quickly smiled at me. If she isn't interested in me, then I would expect her to ignore me or at least be careful with that after our ackward conversation.There's also a possibility I've become interesting to her because I had the guts to approach her.Next time I'll see if she quickly says hi again. Then I'll give her a long welcoming smile. I'll report in the next episode. ;-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): Its the first time you had a conversation with her right?what would you expect from her? What if she's not used to chatting with a stranger?You do talk to anyone all the time, so for you its casual. But you don't don't know her.She is friendly. I do think she find your dog cute.She likes your dog but I'm not sure, if she likes you. Joking.I do think she just find the situation awkward.That's why she acted confusing.Its too early to tell if she likes you or avoiding you, give it sometime. Just be friendly, don't give too much meaning to her every move. Because you really don't know her well. You might be jumping into a wrong conclusion yourself.Honestly I don't think she doesn't like you.You just need time to get to know you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (18 June 2013):
If your interested in her....then ask to meet up for coffee.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): I am a runner also but probably not the one you are writing about. I am married so outright flirting would not be approprate. But if I were single--I definitely would start up a conversation with the hottie if he initiated! Just an insight, when I run I am in another zone and greet everyone. If I see a cute guy (I can look still!!!) I usual have the biggest grin on my face but that is AFTER I pass him. Now, if "Adonis" where to strike up a conversation, I would be flattered and likely babble something incoherent and smile! I would definitely be thankful to have run that particular day/time.
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A
female
reader, queenadelaide  +, writes (18 June 2013):
OP, as a woman with a beautiful smile I have to tell you that it's not necessarily flirtatious when a woman smiles at you.
I smile a lot, to myself and to strangers. The number of times this has given guys the wrong signals is incredible! I may be a neighbour being polite enough to say hi but that doesn't mean I want to talk to you.
You seem like such a nice guy. I really hope you meet someone as lovely as yourself. But with this girl, she's just not into you. You did everything right, and gave her the opportunity to show some interest - she didn't unfortunately.
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A
male
reader, Glacier +, writes (18 June 2013):
Glacier is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNote that she was walking and I walked with her. She usually is walking instead of jogging.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 June 2013):
 Or it could be that she's not interested in dating or being hit on during her work out or a million other reasons.
If you are interested in her more than just a casual "hi how are you" kind of thing, the only thing you can do is bite the bullet and ask her if she would like to get a drink or a cup of coffee or something and see what she says and does.
Some folks are clueless you are interested till you hit them over the head with a brick. My husband was like that I had to actually say to him "do I have to hit you over the head to get you to understand I'm FLIRTING with you?"
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