A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So let me tell you information first: My best friend of almost 20 years is married but her relationship is rocky and they have been talking divorce for 2 years now..and then they try to work it out ( a lot of back and forth). They have a two year old son. She tells the two year old everything- how daddy is a jerk and wont even let her mother in law babysit the child. She hates his whole family and tells them they all treat her bad. She can be very immature in this relationship and is very possessive of the husband...he is not allowed to play baseball with his friends or go to the gym (but he does anyway). These things I do not agree with but its her business.My brother growing up has been somewhat emotionally abusive to me and she knows this. Him and I are not that close but we get along better lately. He is divorced. He is a player and has emotionally abused his girlfriends.The two of them hang out once a year when we all get together for something. Turns out they were all over each other last night and are now texting back and forth. She says she wants to date him. I think I am going to barf.Does anyone see why I am so angry? Help what do I do? I told her how I feel that I dont want her to get hurt and that he is emotionally abusive. Her answer was Well I could meet a random guy that turns out to be emotionally abusive. I was like What?? That doesnt make any sense. She said I should be happy for them and be happy that she could one day be my sister in law. Im like well could you at least not be married first? This situation is making me sick. I feel betrayed that she would want to hook up with him when he has been so mean to me, I feel worried that because of their separate issues this could end ugly and that would be more awkward then what is happening, I feel I dont want to lose my best friend or that our relationship will change, and what if the husband finds out...any insight would be helpful. How do I get rid of this icky feeling I have when I think of them together? Am I wrong for being so mad about it? I dont want to stand in the way of anyone's happiness but I am finding it difficult to accept that they want to be together.
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best friend, divorce, emotionally abusive, immature, player, sister in law, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, newbeauty25 +, writes (16 June 2010):
girl you did your part. you warned her. now she is an adult let her be.. understand you are still hurt and angry on how your brother treated you growning up but that is her fight . thats you and your brother(blood is thicker than water)you need to tell him how you fee and get the resentment off your chest. maaybe you two well have a better relationship and you can warn him that your friend is STILL MARRIED !!!! and for him not to get emotionally attached . just like she might not be good for her she mght not be good for him.. take care girl and let that steam out.!1 lol
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 June 2010):
 The red flag for me in your post is that she says such things to her two year old. Pardon me for saying it, but this just screams of someone who is far, far too immature to be a parent. Why on earth you would call someone like that a friend is beyond me.
Your friend is a train wreck. If she doesn't go off with your brother, it will be some other player. Rather than worrying about standing in the way of her 'happiness', I'd distance myself from her and anyone with her, including your abusive brother.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 June 2010):
 There's a real problem here. You have a very low opinion of your best friend, and you have a very low opinion of your brother. Shouldn't your best friend be...your best friend??? And your brother was mean to you, so you feel betrayed by your best friend (whom you have a low opinion of) for being interested in your brother.
You need to chill out, to be honest. Your best friend needs to have a finalized divorce from her husband before dating your brother, but they are adults. You're mad at your brother for being "mean" to you, so you don't want him to have your best friend. That's not up to you. Their lives are not your life.
Sounds like you don't like either of them anyways. Maybe they'll find what they're looking for in each other once your best friend finalizes things with her husband.
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