A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been best friends with Kyle for around 8 years now. Everything he says I respect and I have yet to meet somebody else who understands me and cares for me like he does. A year ago however I met Luke, and found his interesting nature irresistible. I've always been fascinated by the wierd and wonderful, and fell for his laid back view on life. He's fun and full of energy, and I know deep down I love him with all my heart, but 6 months ago when away with friends I began to feel something for Kyle that I'd never felt before. And everything changed. Within a short space of time of me realising my feelings, I (being quite impulsive of nature) let him know. I never once told him I was ever willing to leave Luke, but I admitted that there was feelings there. He went on to admit having feelings for me for years. We continued with a flirtatious friendship, never engaging in anything which could suggest us as more than friends.I came home to Luke and discovered that things had changed, he was the same fun man he'd always been, and I still felt the same. But suddenly his careless approach to the future was compared to Kyles focus and drive every second of the day. I never admitted I felt something for Kyle, but I began to discover that I couldn't lie there with Luke without picturing Kyle's face and charm. I knew there was something seriously wrong.I came to a hard stage in my life where a relative died, I was a wreck and I began to change my views on everything in my life, i discovered a different approach to life; the importance of family, hard work and maturity. I have, within this change - began to grow up quite quickly for my age and within this Kyle and me find a connection, as he has always been mature for his age. Our friendship thus continued, we both began to realise the feelings were escalating at this point. We would start seeing more of each other outside of school, texts regularly. He was always ringing me, asking if I was okay, the first to text me on a morning telling me he was excited to see me, something I never found from Luke; who'd always been too busy with his own interests and problems to totally consider me. It was around a month ago he told me he was completely in love with me. And, I now know I feel the same with him. I never feel happiness like I do when with him. But I still fear the wrong decision. I'm tired of comparing Luke with Kyle, but I know without Luke I'd miss the fun times I have with him, but I know that the lack of intellectual conversation and real understanding of each other would not be missed, and I know that as I'm maturing that his idea of 'fun' would slowly begin to contradict mine. But with Kyle, I'd miss everything. I can't explain how I feel about him him, and I'm growing so tired of brushing hands in class and feeling like everything falls into place. The way we're going is childish and something neither of us want. I know I seem selfish, but I've never understood how this all happened, because I never intended to hurt Luke. I cry so often now in fear of losing everything I care for. I pray every night for change, for a sign to make the answers obvious. But the love I feel for both Kyle and Luke is growing to be such a large aspect of life that I'm starting to lose concentration on my education, and family life. I feel half the person I am, and I'm desperate for answers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAgain, another update. After finishing with my long term relationship, I am now spending alot more time with my best friend. All our friends are really supportive, and it turns out my old boyfriend moved on to find another girl within less than 24 hours of me breaking up with him.
It seems making a decision, and doing what felt right really worked. I want to say thankyou to your answers to my question, as, I have never been this happy in a very long time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought I'd leave an update of the situation. A couple of days ago, I broke up with my long term boyfriend because of the situation, I felt falling for somebody else meant I obviously didn't love him enough and that I would only be happy if I did the grown up thing of making a choice. I've never been happier, and I have such a weight off my chest now. Thank you for all the advice x
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionas an update. i inputed my age wrong. i'm 16.
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