A
female
age
41-50,
*ceFaerie
writes:So,this friend that I have,we've known each other since we were kids.We've had a rocky relationship at times,but have considered each other best friends.I've told her stuff that I've never told anyone else,and have trusted her completely.A few weeks ago we had a minor argument and didn't speak.Yesterday I decided to write her and try to settle things,but the reply I got back was unexpected.She told me what a horrible person I was,how I never said thank you for anything when I stayed with her a while back,and that I took everything for granted.I know my manners,I say please and thank you and so on.I told her this and asked her to explain what exactly I had done wrong.I got an email back where she's dragging up things that happened years ago,saying how I never considered her feelings in anything and so on.I don't understand where this is coming from.We were fine before our little argument,and now all of a sudden,she's coming at me with a load of accusations.She's also throwing things back in my face,things that I have confided in her.I feel really hurt and confused.What do you think I should do?I can't really get a straight answer from her why she's saying all this.Should I drop her as a friend?Thank you in advance for any advice you have.
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female
reader, IceFaerie +, writes (25 August 2010):
IceFaerie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you both for your answers and advice.
I got another email from her,to which I replied.I did try to sort things out,but the reply I got after that was "Nevermind." Just that.Nevermind.
After twenty years of friendship she leaves me with nevermind.
I think I'll just leave it at that now.Enough is enough.CaringGuy,as you said,why should I stand for it?I won't.
Again,thank you both.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): I had exactly the same problem with a friend, only ours was over money. Things came out in our emails which were very unexpected and as an added insult, despite her still owing me the money, she changed her number and blocked me on all our social websites.
I am exactly like you, always polite and think I've been a good friend.
I think you should at least try and salvage the friendship, if you can but as the first poster said your the nice friend that has been her rock, but you might find you don't wish to keep a friend who would dredge up the past and add it to the argument.
I have been frozen out of my friends life, but I find that my life has become much easier.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 August 2010):
I bet you're the nice friend who has been her rock, while she has often taken you for granted. And I'll be that the rocky relationship you've had is because of her starting a lot of arguments. I say that because your friend is showing all the classic signs of a person who has far too much self importance. I've seen that a few times on this site. A nice person has a crap friend, and the crap friend throws it all back.
Simply, you don't need a drama queen in your life. Drop her, find a better friend who will discuss issues with you sensibly, and not just throw her toys out the pram when she doesn't get her way. Your friendship has always been rocky, so why stand for it. You said sorry, and she threw it all back. That's not a friend.
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