A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a woman in my life, we're not bf/gf but definitely more than just friends. It's also a long distance relationship. On rare occasions when things sometimes get to much for her, too much pressure, too many problems, she sometimes retreats into herself. As she calls it "hiding", not wanting to see or speak to anyone. When this last happened, I didn't see her for two months but at least she'd occassionally stay in touch by email. She's going through something similar right now but not only am I not seeing her, she has hardly talked to me (phone, email or text)in over a month. Other than respecting her space and being there when she feels better, is there anything else I should do or just be patient?thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy thanks again to the ladies who responded back in July. I think this was a classic case of not wanting to see reality on my part.
After hearing very little from my friend all summer, we planned to get together in late august. She proposed the plans and then never confirmed anything so we missed each other. Flash forward another month and again she finally proposed getting together. And then right before we did, she emailed to let me know what was going on and in doing so, also mentioned she had just broken up with a boyfriend I heard nothing about. (btw we never did get together in sept either.)
I guess I should feel depressed or hurt, but I think over the last couple weeks I knew what was coming and was subconciously ready for it, even if I was conciously still holding out hope. Oh well, live and learn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your advice. To add a little info, I'm in my early 20s but my friend is not. She's 10 years older, is raising 2 young kids by herself and runs her own business. So I've always understood her time can be limited. Still, your replies may be what I needed to hear. thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Her actions seem very suspect to me. If she was really interested in being with you, she'd make every effort to talk to you, even from that long distance. Retreating for two months straight, stringing you along via e-mail, is not very respectful of you and your feelings.
My advice to you is to move on and find someone, perhaps someone more local, with whom you can spend your time -- and who is willing to spend time with you more often than occasionally and only virtually.
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female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (24 July 2010):
 be patient. However, that behavior isn't normal. Either she is a really private person who keeps to herself and she's being honest. OR being as you two live far from each other, is there a possibility that she uses that as an excuse while she's really hanging out with other people?
Sorry, I just don't trust people as easily and that screamed fishy all over in my opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNot that it makes to much difference, my title should have been "what to do when a friend doesn't want to meet OR talk?"
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