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female
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anonymous
writes: I met a guy from online and we went to a bar.. the conversation seemed to go well even though i was nervous.. i found him funny and nice.. he bought me a second drink and later said he isn't much of a drinker and if i would like to go somewhere maybe for coffee? i agreed and said that he can choose the place and we drove to his area which is only 10 minutes away. We seemed to like each other..he complimented me saying i am really pretty, i have nice eyes, why am i single? and i accepted the compliments by saying thank you..trying to show some confidence. I offered money when the check came to be polite and he said no its ok. We seemed to got along well and we laughed a decent amount..he asked if i was having a good time i said i was and he said he was too. He said if i wanted to go out again he would take me this to sushi place he knowsHe drove me home and he said we'll hang out again and i said ok..we began kissing and made out a little..nothing too big..if i felt like he was grabbing a little too much i tried to hold his hand. He wasn't pushy. He said i drove him crazy(i guess turning him on?) and he said you are going to have to go before i start ripping off clothes lol and only so much he can take..i almost felt like i should have been more flirty when he said i drive him crazy because i think he said it twice and i didn't say anything, just kept kissing..hopefully that wans't a turn offhe said i can call him...which i thought was weird? good or bad? I decided to text him today saying you are probably watching the game..just wanted to say hi and thank you again and he wrote back a little while later thanks for a great night with a smile faceit got me wondering well was this a one night thing or is he just taking it slow? i can tell he definitely doesnt like girls rushing to be in a relationship so soon and doesnt want the clinginess so soon either. so he texed me yesterday in the afternoon saying hi how are you with a smile face and i texted back about 10 minutes later saying im good how are you with a smile face and no response for hours...he mentioned on the date he doesn't like texting in general or having conversations through textswhen i told my friends what had been going on..she said i should just call him tonight because he texed you earlier and its obvious he wants some attention and i felt the sameso i did call around 8pm..he picked up and we spoke for a minute and he said he is actually with a friend and can he call me in a little bit and i said surei didn't think he would call because i figured he would get home late but now today is here and passing and still nothing..we did get a snow storm and i know he will have to be doing a lot of shoveling but i know its not a complete excusei hope i didnt screw things up...i don't think i did too much or at least i hope not..i texed him sunday saying thank you, i let monday go by..he texts me in the afternoon and i responded and when i heard nothing for hours and hours i decided to just call and say hi with my voice..i hope in some way he is testing me to see if i am this psycho girl who will call again and again. What do I do next?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Okay. No, you didn't do anything wrong. His behavior on a first date was inappropriate, in my opinion.
If he had given you a hug and a couple kisses goodnight, that would have been one thing. But you said he was a bit "grabby", then told you you were driving him crazy (no, HE was driving himself crazy!), all this talk about ripping clothes off......if that's not pushy, then heck if I know what IS.......he might have attempted to make it sound like he was joking, but it seems to me that he was quite serious.
You texted him twice, one of which was in response to his text; then called him. He said he was with a friend and would call back, but didn't. Notice that you were the one who first got in touch with him after the date. Notice, too, that he told you you could call him. In one sense, I guess, it sounds good, but would have been better had he called first. Then if you went on a second date, or third and then he told you to feel free to call him, that shows interest.
If I were in your place, I'd let it alone and see if he does get in touch and makes another date. If he does, you can probably expect more of the same "hands on" behavior. It's up to you to decide whether that's something you want that or not.
A
female
reader, gcruz +, writes (11 February 2010):
 It sounds really normal wat just happened. Don't over think it bc then your mind will never turn off lol but I do feel that you did and are playing things out perfect. You can wait til he calls you and if he doesn't after a few days you should try and call him one more time just to be sure. If that doesn't pan out well then just move on
Good luck hun !
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (10 February 2010):
 If you don't want confusion and the endless 'is he really into me' let him call you and ask you out. Let him chase a bit, that way you'll know he's interested and not just taking what he can get.
You did not screw anything up, you behaved fine. And if it's too much for him then that's his problem and he's the wrong guy for you.
I get a sense from your question that you might tend to blame it on yourself if things don't work out with a guy. If I'm wrong, please correct me. I was just reading how you made out a bit, and although there's nothing wrong with that, I would be careful as to this guy's motivations. Just in case he never calls again or you do go out and all he wants is a bit of fun and you don't...don't think it's because you did something wrong. You say that you didn't say anything after he said that you drive him crazy...so what, you didn't have anything to say and that's fine. You don't want to go around pretending, do you?
He could be genuine and is not calling because he doesn't want to seem too eager, or he could also be after one thing and since that didn't happen when you first met, he's cooled off somewhat...I would find it a bit overwhelming if someone I just met started saying that he'll rip my clothes off. Although it's a joke, he obviously meant that he'd like to sleep with you. Now, I'm not saying that's all he wanted but keep that in the back of your mind, if and when you do meet up again.
I hope he's a good guy and he calls you soon :)
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