A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm 16 and the girl is almost a year younger. i have known this girl since i started secondary school, for about 5 years now, we're friends nd we talk quite a bit. recently myself nd one of the boys went to the cinema with her and one of her friends. it opened my eyes, all my horoscopes are true and i have never felt this way about anyone, i truly love her and what she's about, sex is really the last thing on my mind. she's into art and psycology stuff like that, alot like me. we have so much in common, but just the right amount in common. I didnt do art tho as one of my subjects, and she goes up to the art room, nd bothers with all her art friends, then i discovered that she's interested in this guy that she's met just once at a house party. i made the mistake of revealing my love for her, saying, "do you think i'm annoying?" she said she didn talk to me enough to know. and i said "would you be interested?" she said that she was pretty close to this guy that she met, and she's not into relationships. but according to some of her friends, she's never really had a serious relationship. a group of us went out the same night. me, my mate and her art friends. they were avoiding us all the time, and not talking to us. but then again we weren't talking to them either. then one of her close girlfriends said that she, not the girl i'm talking about, told us not to follow them, after they had asked us out! i felt really hurt inside, thinking that she just wanted to avoid me. i managed to coax my friend into 'interrogating' her as to why she was avoiding me. apparently, the reason her friend told me not to follow them was because she wanted me to stay away from her. also, she said that she didn't like me in that way, and nothing would ever change that. she said that i'm a tidy boy, but she liked me better as a friend. what i'm thinking is that i should try and spend more time with her and try and talk to her more. hopefully, this guy won't be interested and leave her alone. then maybe i could become a closer friend than others, hopefully it'll all work out, but if i try and bother with her more, she'll realize that i'm trying to get with her. but because she's never been in a real relationship before, ya know she's a virgin and stuff, hopefully you can help me because even though she just wants me as a friend, if she doesn't learn relationships and what love is about, she's going to be a really lonely person. i wish you can take your time to read this and give me some good, honest advice please? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhopefully the one who answered before will answer this one, if not read the first question again. new discoveries. i have discovered that this guy does exist but she said she was close to him to try and put me off! also i have discovered from her blog that he is the one she texts the most, and has also said that she woudn't mnind a boyfriend right now so maybe she does like him a bit. but from his blog i see that he might be interested in other things. she really does like me better as a friend, but hopefull as time goes by things will develop better. this may sound greedy but, even though i care more about her than sex, i would be really unhappy if i'm not the one to pop her cherry! more advice please!
A
male
reader, Who  +, writes (26 April 2009):
 “…but she liked me better as a friend. what i'm thinking is that i should try and spend more time with her and try and talk to her more.”
That’s as good a plan as any.
“…i managed to coax my friend into 'interrogating' her as to why she was avoiding me….”
Another good plan.
“…hopefully, this guy won't be interested and leave her alone. then maybe i could become a closer friend than others, hopefully it'll all work out,…”
Even if he IS interested, and so is she now, most relationships between 16-17 year olds do not last long. If it does start to break up, and if this girl is like a lot of others, she will try to get something going with the next guy before ending it with the last one. If you are around and this happens, you might be In Like Flynn. I know this sounds conniving and cold blooded but I didn’t invent this system.
Anyway if she does start going out with this other guy, no reason why you can’t casually date a few other girls. If you are not going steady with one (have not made a commitment) there is nothing wrong with seeing a few girls at the same time.
Anyway keep in mind it is good to have a plan but also good to be flexible; you can’t predict the future and need to be ready for whatever happens. She doesn’t get another boy friend now, she does and breaks up, she doesn’t break up, you find a different girl you want to be with more, whatever. You are just staring out in this romance biz so you can expect to have several different experiences (including a broken heart or two) before you figure it out.
Best of luck.
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