A
female
age
30-35,
*ebralove
writes:How do I fix our comunication problemes? My boyfriend and I are kind of stuck in a rut when we get into an argument he completly shuts down and never has enything to say.I try not to pressure him but he always seems to take serious discussions as if Im complaining about our relationship and Im not, im simply trying to figure things out. We are in a long distance relationship because we both attend different colleges but he will be graduating soon and when I asked him where he would like to go he got defensive right away, says he doesn't know and then completely shuts off.I'm at a point where I'm not sure if we should continue this because Im getting tired of not being able to communicate with him.
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, zebralove +, writes (18 September 2012):
zebralove is verified as being by the original poster of the question We have always been in a ldr and have been together for not even a year.. I know it isnt a long relationship. I dont feel as though he wants to break up. The email thing is verry helpfull and i will try it. Thank you for your help.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 My fiance and I were LDR from December 2010 till January 2011 although after June of 2011 we were together more than we were apart.
we got in the habit early on of using email for stuff... I don't hear well on the phone and he got frustrated.
with email we had time to think and sort our thoughts out...
even now that we live in the same house we still use email for important stuff....
have you always been LDR?
how long have you been together?
if he's feeling pressure to decide if he should move to be with you.. maybe he's thinking about ending the relationship and is not sure how to do it?
I'm learning even in my old age, from here and experience (in hindsight) that many people are too chicken to come right out and say " I want out" they just make their behavior unlivable and force the other person to "do the dirty work"
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (18 September 2012):
 Your boyfriend make need more time than you to sort his thoughts, especially when it comes to sensitive issues.
Why not discuss these issues in writing then? You can send him an email when you have something big on your mind and he can respond in kind when he's ready.
This applies to anyone really, but it might help especially here. Try to keep things simple. He may be overwhelmed trying to take in all of your thoughts/feelings and their implications. He may also be taking on far too much responsibility (in his own mind) for your happiness.
...............................
|
