A
male
age
51-59,
*gentk6
writes: My wife has recently left me, so I have been using a fake vagina for release. I was wondering if having sex with a psuedo vagina has the same health benefits as having sex with a real person? Also I was wondering if it is acceptable to have sex with someone else while we are separated, if it comes along?ModNote: for what the original poster means re a psuedo vagina see similar at fleshlight.com
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 September 2012):
OH the moral implications...
I was over and done with my marriage... we dragged it out for seven years on purpose so I would have Social Security Coverage in the event I did not remarry, or find a job that made as much money as he makes...
but it was known we were not getting back together... the marriage was dead...
IF you know the marriage is not salvageable... (and if it was a long term marriage and she wanted out it may be a mid life crisis thing... and may still be fixable) and you meet someone AS LONG as you are HONEST about your marital situation (NOT I'm divorced but rather "I'm legally separated") then I personally have no problem with it...
A
male
reader, Agentk6 +, writes (18 September 2012):
Agentk6 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the answers, they have been helpful, it is legal to be seperated & not divorced in my state, so that's not really an issue. Its still a little early to be looking for someone I think, but I was curious about the moral implications of dating while seperated. :-)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 September 2012):
I don't know that the health benefits are the same but the release of an orgasm in any way is always a pause that refreshes...
as for dating while separated... in my state there is no legal separation so you are either married or divorced...
some divorces take longer than others and I've been known to date while separated.... some women will do it... some men will do it... others will not want to date you as it's a risk to them.
in addition, in my state, dating while separated gives the other party grounds to file on adultery charges.... so I would discuss it with an attorney for the legal ramifications....
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (18 September 2012):
The physical benefits from such activity, I understand, are not QUITE up to that which most people derive from having sex. For one thing, the physical exertion (which, to a point, plays a positive part in your stimulation) level is lower. But more importantly, the MENTAL benefits are worlds lower. Put crudely, it's LONELY having sex without someone there to share it with you.
As to dating while separated, it has definite risks. There is still the possibility that this might be held against you by society (or maybe even by the courts ... depends on the jurisdiction) when it comes time to make the final break. On the other hand, well, only you can judge whether the possible risks are worth it. You know what's what.
Either way, I suspect that soon you will be looking for a "transition woman" who will help you move, emotionally and physically, from being "married" mentally to being "single". Such people are GOLD. I had three of them in my life, after I lost two wives and one fiancée, all dead. But they are rarely a permanent attachment, in spite of what you may want. I've played that role myself to women a couple of times, and a smart one knows both how to begin and how to end a transition relationship.
Good luck as you move on with your life.
(I've assumed you and your wife are irreconcilably separated here. If you are NOT, if you harbor any hopes of getting back together, don't even THINK about starting another relationship.)
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