A
female
age
36-40,
*taggrim
writes:HiWell, basically, at the begginning of the year February time, me and my boyfriend had a bit of an argument, he had looked at my phone, seen I had text an ex who meant absolutly nothing to me, but I'd rather be friends than enemies at the end of the day and I knew that it meant nothing. He saw this, got very upset but we worked things out... Anyway, a few other things went on where he felt he couldn't trust me, we were falling out quite a bit because of the stress of it and he just didn't end up thinking he could trust me. We made up and I went away for the weekend with the girls, realised I had a fab time been away, came back and told him it was for the best to leave it, think partly I felt like that because I was worn out with trying to explain he has nothing to worry about with me and things. Was just tired of it all. Anyway, we fell out because he was so mad I had done that, then a couple of weeks later made up, decided to be friends, then as friends we agreed to sleep together, the attraction was still there big time, and when we met up you could just feel the tension, it's always been very very steamy with us. We have always loved each other and everything but we were just very romantic and things. We had been friends for a good 5 weeks or so, going to a few places, shopping, out for the day, sometimes he'd come over to mine on a night and visa versa, still saying we were friends, he said when he was drunk one night he loves me still and would love to be together but he can't with what I've done. Let me tell you, I have never slept with anyone else, kissed anyone else so sometimes he's a tad bit dramatic. The other day I had a bit of a pop with him about something and he went mental, hit the roof, started bringing me into it all again just because for once this was something he had done wrong! Said he can't trust me, that he doesn't know how I dare have a go at him after the things I've done, that he doesn't think it's a good idea now being friends and so on. He had a mental temper so it's easy for him to hit the roof. Hhe can't help it sometimes. At the end of the day, my point is, when it's good, it's fantastic... we have got on better than ever in the past 5 weeks when we were meeting up and things. He admitted it himself. Now he's not speaking to me it's left me thinking what's for the best? I really believe we are meant to be together, he said it the other day too before the other fall out. He's so bothered about what his friends and things think though, when he's been mad he's just gone onto them about me, making things sounds bad, as you do but I still love him. I want him back really, but I need to get the dude's trust, I think deep down he wants to be with me, but how do I get him to realise it's the best thing for us both???...please advisethanksxx
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female
reader, staggrim +, writes (7 October 2008):
staggrim is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not saying I don't understand why he's annoyed, because course I do, but at the end of the day, he forgave me and we was really good friends upto him going mad again over nothing. I don't dispute him been annoyed and yes I would be too. The reason why I'm on here is to see what exactly you think is the best solution for the whiole situation. We both admitted the other day we still love each other, so obviously there's something there.... How will I get him to realise he has nothing to worry about and get with me? I don't wanna be in a relationship at the moment as I feel a bit too young for all that, but he also feels that too, but I would reconsider a bit down the line when it comes to properly settling down ie. kids, houses and things we would be perfect.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): If he was in contact with an ex you would be right pissed of too.
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A
female
reader, staggrim +, writes (7 October 2008):
staggrim is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe things that i have basically done for him not to feel he can trust me is, the ex and number thing, then once i gave my old number out to someone who wouldnt stop pestering me, but it was my old number so there was no way he would be able to get in touch with me anyway, i told andy about it. He found out i was on some site on the net where i can talk to my friends, looks at photo's and things and because i hadnt mentioned it to him said i was lying about it, and finally, when i went away with the girls, didnt like the fact that on the night out there was some blokes in the photo's. i swear i have never done anthing wrong tho. the things that he does wrong is shouting at me, he makes me feel guilty cos he is intimidating. puts words in my mouth. its hard. but like i say, when its good its fab and apart from yesterday when we fell out again we were getting on fab. i havent been in touch with him, and he hasnt been in touch with me since.....
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 October 2008):
So you got a text from an ex and that's it?
Next time he says anything, just ask him "what have I done that's so bad?"
You might make him realise that he's being stupid holding this over you.
Point out that you haven't DONE anything for him to lose trust over. He sounds a bit unstable to me.
Good Luck!! xx
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