A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together since grade school. We've had quite a few break-ups over the years, but only the most recent break-up was ever serious. (For the most part the other break-ups were due to immaturity on both our parts)The most recent break up was difficult because I was going through a clinical depression, and he believed he was the root cause of my unhappiness. Throughout this break-up we both hurt each other pretty badly; I slept with one of his friends, he dated my best friend, and many cruel words were exchanged. At one point we became close again (more along the lines of friends-with-benefits) and of course that didn't work either. Six months went by after that and I decided to start up conversation again. We went out for lunch, discussed our pitfalls from when we were apart, and all in all was a very successful lunch. Throughout the summer we talked and became very close again, and agreed that our feelings had never really swayed throughout our break-up(s). Unfortunately, summers coming to an end, and he's moving back up north where he's going to school. (Approximately 8 hours away from me) I have no idea what to do. The feelings are definitely there, but there has been so much pain in between. Also, I got used to the single lifestyle. There are other men that I could potentially date. I am miserable without my long-time boyfriend, but I have so many doubts in my mind about whether or not long-distance is the way to go. Also, if we haven't worked out before, what makes this time around any different? There is no way I am ready to cut him out of my life, he's been involved in it since I was 7, but of course being friends, isn't an option either.Advice would be much appreciated! Thank you!From,Indecisive Ingrid
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 September 2010):
I think you're being a bit too romantic on this, and not realistic.
This is just such a mess, that I can't see it being fixed. You slept with his friend, he dated yours. You were depressed and he blamed himself. You've been on/all the time, and it couldn't even work as FWB. Now he's moving away again and you say there are other men you can date.
This is a total disaster. You break up enough when you're together. What will happen when you're long distance and either you or he gets interested in someone else.
I think you need to start being more realistic. This didn't work all those times before, there's already so much pain, and it won't work out now. I think if you continue this way, within a few months you'll break up again. I don't see how this can work.
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