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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm in a long distance relationship. It seems to me as if everything is going fine. I've visited her and that went great, and we talk on the phone. We are also online married and stuff on the interactive chat site we met on..It has come to light however that she is still staying with this abusive guy. He verbally threatens her, pushes her out of her chair, deletes everything on her computer so she can't meet me and etc. He got on the computer once and threatened my life as well. I mean this guy is a real piece of work. He also hits her but she makes excuses for that.. Like I asked her has he ever hit you, and she said yes, but he's not a woman beater..Classic excuse making.I ask her if she loves this guy and she says.. "no, I'm in love with you. You are my heart and soul. It would kill me to lose u. But I have kids with this man, I stay with him for the kids." She also says they haven't had sex in 7 months...So, breaking it down: I don't have my own place, and she stays in this guy's house, so she doesn't either. I guess my first step should be getting my own place if I'm interested in getting her out of her situation? There's much more to this but I don't want to overwhelm y'all.. But yeah, I need clear goals here to function. Everything gets so muddled with her involved that I can't think rationally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am in love with her... her beautiful mind, her shining spirit... and, she's very outwardly good looking as well.
I understand she is trapped in an abusive cycle, but I also feel that if I abandon her, she will never escape the clutches of this guy. He will crush the spirit that I love right out of her. I feel that God wants so much better for this woman, but she needs help. Not everyone can do everything themselves, right?
A
female
reader, lostinlove2007  +, writes (20 March 2010):
It sounds like you're involved in a very complicated situation. I understand that you feel like you're in love with this woman but it's not a healthy situation. She's with someone else and you can't save her from that situation. She has to want to leave on her own and when she does she will have many issues to overcome. We can't tell you what to do but I would be careful to get too involved. You can offer to help this girl as a friend but I don't think she needs a boyfriend right now.
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