A
female
age
51-59,
*lorycheck
writes:how could he forget all about me so easy?my ex left me 3 years ago.we were married for 15 years and have 2 children. my son was only 8 weeks old when I found out that he has been cheating on me with his nurse while I was pregnant. He said to me he doesn't love me anymore and left us. he divorced me as quickly as he could.He has been extremly akwward to me since than. I have gone throw alot, emotionly I have been heart broken. He has a girl friend 16 years younger now. he is very happy and loves his fiance very much. he got to know her 1 year ago and got engaged after 5 months. He keeps telling me I am nobody, I just keep my distance as much as I could with him but every opportunity he finds wants to show his anger toward me. I have a pain in my body, and a question that will never get the answere and that is, How he could be like this? we had 15 years full of good memories and why he can't just remember them?
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female
reader, AgonyAunt25  +, writes (19 June 2010):
 move on. you made a mistake in having sex and having kids with the stupid idiot so just move on. find a different guy who will care for you.
A
female
reader, Entirely Unique +, writes (21 March 2010):
 He might do but you never know or he could continue his life and never really realise or think he's done wrong.
You need to try your best to move past all this and concentrate on only building a relationship with him for the sake of the children.
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A
female
reader, glorycheck +, writes (21 March 2010):
glorycheck is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answeres. I only cant believe how a man can be so cruel to the mother of his children and still so happy. he might never loved me truly before but we had a history together. His fiance might be better than me but I really loved him and he knew that. I have had not easy life since he has left.He was a wonderful man wonderful housband but out of nothing he 180 degree changed.
I really want to forgive him really want to move on with mylife but don't know how? Do you think would he realise the pain he has cast me? would he realise what a mistake he has done? and how unfair he has been to me?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 March 2010):
My guess is this is some kind of midlife crisis. Men going through these problems often blame the person closest to them, rather than themselves. The truth is that he is angry with himself and how own life, but doesn't want to face up to it. So he takes it out on you instead. I know it's hard for you, but believe me when I say this is not your fault. He made his own decisions in life, and he will have to live with them and be accountable for them. You must now focus on your own life and your children, who will need you.
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique +, writes (20 March 2010):
I would find a way to speak to him, you may never get your question answered and I'm not sure you should even try to but you really do need to find some kind of polite ground for the sake of your children and I would try to make him see that things would be better if you could get along for the children you have together as it would make things alot easier for them and the both of you.
You spent a long time together, you have children together therefore he should respect you even if its just for those reasons.
I don't think he's forgotten your years of memories, maybe he's just trying to forget them or ignore them, maybe it's painful for him to remember for many reasons.
Just concentrate on yourself and your children and try to let go because until you do you won't be able to move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, santesmeralda +, writes (20 March 2010):
Poor sweetheart you have been through a lot indeed. Well anyone would say he does not deserve you, but that is not what you want to hear because by the way you talk you still love him. Let me put it this way, many people pretend on the outside and seer in the inside without letting it come out at all. Then all of a sudden what has been in the most recondite parts of the brain, bang comes out all of a sudden. He probably never really did truly love you because if he did he would have never left you. Cheating can be forgiven for love, but dumping you for a younger girl when you have two of his children, that is another ball game. I know it is tough to move on especially with two kids to raise, but you know I am a mother of two and at first it was painful for me too. But I found interest else where, in my girlfriends which I had neglected to look after him and the growing babies, in my hobbies, in sick people who needed my help just for a visit to hear their complaints and bring them the shopping, in my work. So sweetheart I am telling you you have to find the strength in yourself to move on. No one can help you but yourself. Do not keep thinking in your mind where you went wrong you did nothing wrong. Do not listen to him if he tells you you are nobody, he is only trying to cover his own guilt by saying this. If he puts you down this means he covers his own misbehaviour because he throws the guilt trip on to you. So sweety, do try to look beyond him and look at the positive side, thank God you got rid of him. You will surely find a man who will love you for your qualities and beauty when the time is right and if destiny allows for it. In the meantime look at the two beautiful children the Lord gave you, have fun with them and if time permits go out and have fun or do a sport or any hobby. But by no means ever rush into another affair, that will only get you lower than you are now. I hope you feel better sweety and do hang in there. I am close to you and can understand where you are at.
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