A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I will try and keep this short and sweet :)I am currently working in an office environment, and I have been placed on a team which deals with complaints. The team I liase with tend to talk amongst themselves, they are a close knit clique of mainly young women. I feel like we are like chalk and cheese.There is a guy who I will name R whom I have developed a budding friendship. R sits very near these young women and I feel like he is a rose amongst the thorns seeing as I do not assimilate brilliantly into my team.However, 2 of the women M and A have tried to prevent me from speaking to R as he does his uni work for his student placement so I understand that he needs to concentrate. R told me that he did not have alot of work to do when I was shooting the breeze with him. M and A also caught me speaking to R for 5 minutes when he was about to go home, and they gave me a lecture about how he cannot be held up as he does not live in the catchment area, but his train is pretty regular.I am not sure how to perceive this, would appreciate words of wisdom :) xx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (9 February 2015):
Survival of the fittest dear, groups stick together. You have a better chance if you try to blend into the group. If you can't fit into a group, the group sees you as an outsider and wont trust you, and who can blame them? This is part of working in a team: the pain of working with different personalities.
Either that or you talk to him after working hours.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 February 2015):
 I agree with WiseOwlE
YOUR priority should be doing your JOB and to at least TRY and work well with your team.
Making friends is fine, but I would limit the chatter to work related issues, if he and you want to chat further DO IT after work.
I don't think M & A are trying to "prevent" you from speaking to the guy, I think they are setting some boundaries, which you obviously lack. THIS isn't high school where you look for the cute guy to chat up and flirt with. It's a job. So .... be professional.
IF you are one of the newest member and you spend more time showing just how "chalk" you are to their "cheese" how long do you think you will keep your job?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2015): Limit communication as you're told. When at work, you're on paid-time; so you follow the rules and do what you're paid to do. The longer you work there, the more relaxed they may become with you. Showing compliance with office protocol and policy isn't left up to you to discern whether it is fair, or unfair. It's enforced and monitored by your supervisor(s) and manager(s). Even when others seem to break the rules. If they don't get into trouble, they've worked there long enough to earn flexibility or leeway from management. They may also get fired clear out of the blue.
Sometimes supervisors give you rope to hang yourself.
If personal-conflict with other employees pervades the department; just because you don't particularly like M and A; it might cost you your j-o-b! Listen when they warn you!
Be courteous, professional, friendly, and suppress your emotions when working. No one is interested in your personal opinions of other employees. Until you're their supervisor, what they do and don't do is not your concern.
I run a large corporate office. I supervise people and implement office policies; so that's not just my advice, it's what I do professionally.
What you do off the clock and on your own time is your business. Talk to R as much as you like after work.
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