A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI'm gonna move in with my bf in couple.of months, we have been together for almost 2.5 years. I always lived alone or with my parents. So i'm not sure what to expect when we start living together like finances, personal space, house work.... It's his house (which he bought) I'm moving into and I will be paying him a small amount as rent and I will be communities (like an hr) to work.Any advice would help. Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 February 2018):
 Sit down and talk this OVER before you move in.
Make a chose list TOGETHER and who does what.
Talk finances, talk bills. What can you afford? What does he expect you to pay?
MAKE a budget together.
STICK to that budget.
DO NOT move in before you two have gone over EACH of your expectations.
I have found that moving in with someone doesn't always make things "cheaper" than living by myself. Why? Because people spend and budget differently.
HAVE the talk ASAP.
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (21 February 2018):
All of this is stuff that you need to be clear on before you move in. You say you will be paying him a small amount of rent. Does that cover your part of utilities? If not how much are you expected to pay? Are your salaries roughly equal? If so should you pay half? If you make considerably less what percentage of the household expenses do you pay? Cooking? Who is responsible for cooking, how will you split the grocery bill, who cleans up after cooking? What are your cleaning styles? Do you clean as you go or are you clean everything once a week type person. This may seem trivial but if you can’t stand having things on the table and he is used to leaving the daily mail in a pile and sorting it once a week that can cause friction.These are questions you need to talk with BF about before you move in.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (21 February 2018):
 In the nicest possible way, are you moving in with us? No? Then we're the wrong people to ask.
You must set out a contract (at least for finances) BEFORE moving in. Both sign it and both keep a copy. It will protect you if you break up. Do NOT move in before having clear rules and expectations set out.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 February 2018):
 There are no hard and fast rules. Every couple does things differently. You need to discuss this with him BEFORE you move in and agree who pays for what. Disputes and bubbling resentment about money are one of the things which split up couples to have the discussion and agree what is reasonable for both of you to pay. Also never be afraid to go back and say "Heh, I know we agreed on this, but I am now struggling so can we renegotiate?"
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