A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi to everyoneone of my friends has this girlfriend. they've been together for about 2 years but they broke up about 2 weeks ago and then last week they got back together. my friend doesn't treat her right and she knows that as he doesn't trust her and she hasn't done anything for him to be like that with her. i addede her on facebook after i first met her and my friend started making jokes n stuff about that something was going on between us but the thing is you don't always know when he's being serious. anyway i needed some girl advice yesturday so i added her on msn and we were talking about that and she gave me advice i wanted then we started talking about her relationship and i got the feeling that she doesn't want to be with him. he found out while we were online together that i added her on msn and she kept telling me that he was asking her all of thes questions about what we were talking about and he as say stuff to me as well.i have thought that she was attractive from the first time i saw her but i don't do that sort of thing if its a mates girlfriend. although now i think that im starting to like her. what should i do which would end up not hurting anyone? please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): If you value your friendship with him, you won't act on your feelings for his girlfriend and you'll distance yourself from her. Meaning: don't chat, Facebook or text, because even if your communication with her is innocent, your jealous friend will be confused and upset by it and your "like" for her could grow.
Think whatever you like about their relationship, but it's still a relationship, no matter how dysfunctional it may appear from the outside, and you have to respect it. You can't rescue her from this; if she's unhappy with him, it's on her to change it herself. It's not your place and you don't want to get involved in their drama.
Maybe your friend's distrust of her isn't completely unfounded; she's chatting with his friend (you) about their relationship, revealing her discontent with him, then leaking to you things he said to her in private (asking about you and her)... Imagine how you'd feel in your friend's position, with a girlfriend who gossips about you to your friend. Suspicious, maybe?
Carry on with your life. Pursue the other girl you were having "girl problems" with and let them make up or break up. Chances are they won't be together for very long. Maybe later you'll end up with her, but for now stay away, unless you want to end your friendship with this guy. Remember "bros before hos", haha.
A
female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 According to me, don't try to sort out whats wrong in their life if you really want to be a good friend from both ends.Don't try to make your friend understand that he is wrong, talk with his gf only when your friend is present.If the girl is just indicating and not saying you directly that she doesn't want to be with your friend, that means she is still thinking.Let her take the decision and then you can take her side if you feel so otherwise just be friendly with her and try to talk less if your friend is not liking that.
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A
female
reader, jesi_bear  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Hiya,
I think that you should sit her down and tell her how you feel about the whole situation. Be honest and respect what her reply is. If she says that she is not interested, then move on. (This does not mean to stop being her friend) And most importantly, while you are telling her about your feelings, do not, I repeat, DO NOT tell her what to do. You will just crash and burn any chance you might have had.
Hope this helps
Good luck =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): Hiya,
I think that you should sit her down and tell her how you feel. Tell her what you think but make sure NOT to tell her what to do. I hope it all works out for you =)
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