A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 years old, I meet my boyfriend in collage who i've been dateing for 5 months, and i'm between 4-5 months pregneat with his baby.I jumped into this relationship too quick, and i just got out of one with my ex, who i was dateing for 4-5 years.Anyway, the point is, i just realized that i'm still in love with my ex and i know if he still wants to be with me. He knows that i'm pregnant, and we have alot in common and he's my type, but i'm not sure if i should stay with my boyfriend, who i have nothing in common with. and is not my type, but he can provide more for me and can give me what i need, which on the other hand my ex can't. But we have more fun together and i'm happy to be around him.What should i do, stay with my boyfriend? Or get back together with my ex and get an abortion? Please help me someone, i dont know what to do.
View related questions:
abortion, get back together, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): i am in the exact same situation as urself,i got back with my ex and he has accepted this baby as his own :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): please for the love of anything. do not get an abortion because you have fun with someone elseand he doesnt want it.. that is so not fair. i have been trying to have children for 15 years now and cant have any and it really makes me sick to think that people can just throw away little lives like this. atleast you can have a baby. ever thought about just giving it up for adoption. there are hundreds of thousands of people out there willing to adopt unwanted children.. please dont murder your child for the sake of some happiness with a man.....................
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): The previous postings have said all there is to be said;
I want to ask you to do yourself a favour; go to a hospital; go to the maternity ward; as a pregnant mother they will show you around; have a look at the little new born babies!
Do what is best not just for YOU; but for the unborn BABY!
Best wishes!
...............................
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 You cant abort the baby just because you no longer love his or her daddy especially at this late stage. If the child is unwanted then there are thousands of women out there desperate to adopt or maybe the baby's dad or family would like to bring the child up. Was this baby planned or an accident?
If this other guy is the love of your life then he will accept you pregnant with another man's baby if he doesnt then I think you are making the wrong choice in men. Im quite shocked by your blase attitude towards the child, its all about you and you dont seem to care one way or another about the growing life inside you. I think you need to sit down and really think about the implications of all this
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): If you want to be with your ex then be with your ex. Here is the solution to the baby problem if you dont want it the after you have it sign your legal rights away and give it to its father. At five months your baby has a chance of surviving the abortion. Your baby is capable of living out side the womb. Your pregnancy is now a real life a real baby not some sperm and egg. Sorry to be so harsh but if you could abort this baby this far along in the pregnancy then I hope it screws your insides up so you can never have another baby because obviously you wouldn't make a loving mother. Also aborting a baby this far along puts you at high risk of damaging your uterus so there will be a good chance you will never be able to get pregnant again!
...............................
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 I'm going to be rather blunt with this answer and I hope it doesn't offend.
You shouldn't have even thought about getting pregnant with someone you have been with for a month or two and if it was an unplanned pregnancy you should have considered whether you really were in a stable enough relationship to give a child support and love.
However, this is not the matter in hand right now.
I don't think you realise how much heartbreak it will cause if you get an abortion:
1) There's a reason he's your ex - and what happens if you get an abortion and then it doesn't work with your ex? You'll be left with nothing.
2) This pregnancy is too far gone now - You would abort a baby because you don't like your boyfriend anymore? You would hurt him that much? It seems to me that he is prepared to support you and look after you, why give that away because you've, over a very short amount of time, started wanting to be back with your ex?
I think you need to take a look at this situation from an outsider's point of view rather than what YOU want. Think about other people - your baby, your boyfriend.
Once you give birth, you'll realise what you could have lost and I really hope that the baby, when it grows up, doesn't find out this idea of yours.
Maybe once the baby is born, you could talk it over with your boyfriend and MAYBE consider splitting up and allowing him to see the child. But until then, unless you want to really mess up the good thing you have and something a lot of people would really wish for, I suggest you keep your baby and stay with your boyfriend for the moment. If it really doesnt work out with him after the birth, then consider breaking it with him. However I would say that this may be hormones that are casuing these mixed feelings.
I'm sorry I have been blunt but gettin an abortion because you like your ex is not something I would class as the right thing to do.
Take care x
...............................
A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Alrighty here, Honestly if the guy makes you happy then you should give him more than consideration of going back out with him. and if you have nothing in common with your boyfriend why are you even with him? Honestly abortion is not the right idea, ask your ex if he will help you raise it but don't have your heart set on a yes. you may have to end up giving it up for adoption. nothing more to it
~Hope This Helps~
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): I think you are too far along to get an abortion. Your decision now is whether or not to give the baby up for adoption or to raise it on your own. I wouldn't count on either guy supporting you, you may want to move back in with your family and let them be there to support you as they will have your best interests at heart.
You seem to me to be pretty shallow in your idea of relationship and what is important. Having more fun with your ex then with a boyfriend who can provide more for you financially because he is most likely a hard worker or smart or inherited money is not the best criteria for chosing a mate. Why don't you write a list of the qualities that you are looking for and pick three non negotiables, things you will not do without and then find a man who fits 80% of those qualities and it may be neither of these two guys. How did you get to college and were not smart enough not to get pregnant? The pill is 99.9% effective, what is your excuse?
...............................
A
female
reader, XxAnGelXxx +, writes (21 June 2008):
 I was going to leave a message but supermum took the words right out of my fingers, she's right. And you can only get an abortion up to 12 weeks. I wish you all the best anyways lovey x
...............................
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (21 June 2008):
 why do you need an abrotion if you go with this other guy.. your ex?
coz if he is making you then that is not a good erlationship. dont think about boys, think about your son or daughter. he or she will be moving round, sucking there thumbs and able to feel pain. he she will have a good heart beat and its own personality. the love you will feel for your child is more than any love you will feel for two guys you are not even sure about. focus on the baby, get out of both relationships and stay out of both of there ways. the babys dad however will want to see his child.
can you even get an abortion this late on?
...............................
|
