A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend says he likes me A LOT. we've been close friends almost 2 years. I love him, but the fact that he still has feelings for his best friend (aka ex girlfriend) bugs the Hell out of me. I know that he's in love with her and he admitted that he will always have feelings for her.What do I do? Do I continue being with him?He says that his feeling for her are usually in the back of his mind, but te fact that he would go through Hell for her bugs me I feel like no matter what he will ALWAYS choose her over me even though he says he cares about me and such.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 June 2010):
 You're absolutely right. You just refered to his ex-girlfriend as his "best friend". YOU should be his best friend. You shouldn't have to worry about him confiding in her about issues in your relationship. You should never have to worry about him having feelings in his heart for anyone except you.
He has baggage that's quite frankly a deal breaker in a relationship. You will always be second place to him. You'll always be compared to his ex, even if he never actually says that to you.
The worst thing is that the feeling is there that he's with you only because she's not available, either emotionally or physically.
You deserve better. An ex should never ever hold a "best friend" position in a guy's heart, especially if he still is in love with her. A best friend means continued, emotionally intimate contact. She still holds his heart, and there's not room for two people.
You should not be with him, because every moment wasted with him pining over his ex while being with you is a moment where you are getting the crumbs off of his table. There are plenty of other guys out there who would jump at the chance to be with you, and they won't have ex'es on the side and in the wings that they'll force you to accept as being in their life.
If you end it, it's going to hurt, but it's better than the slow pain and torture of a broken heart. Sooner or later, if he hasn't already, he will cheat on you with her.
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