A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi im 19 yers old this question im about to ask has been going round in my head now for about 4 weeks.the thing is 4 weeks ago i went on a date with my supervisors flat mate i didnt know thats who he was.he works in a pub and when i came in he thought i was nice.It was actually my cousins girlfriend that said to me that he liked me, [she works there too],anyway he didnt come up to me said hi or nothing , he seemes a shy lad, so i left the pub and that was it.the day after i came home from work and my mum said that my cousins girlfriend had phoned his sister and asked if he could have my mobile number,she new who he was because her boyfriend is a chef in the pub as well.[what a coinceidence]Anyway in the end he got my number from my supervisor and we texted eachother for about a week and we relaised we had so much in common with eachother.So in the middle of the week he arranged for us to go out for a drink, and i said ok cool.But then i got a text saying lets go for a meal instead, i said ok , and thought that was really nice , i replyed ok then where do u want to go,he then txted and said he wasnt the one that sent the text it was my cousins girlfiend.So i thought he will change his mind now, and i felt terrible for replying yes for the meal.But he said we will go and she booked us a table at a very posh restuarant.Anyway we went and had a nice time and at the end of the night he asked if i wanted to come back to his flat [which is right across the road from me i know weird], i said ok then and we went.I didnt sleep with him that night i wanted to get to know him a bit better and i didnt want to do nothing to spoil the evenning. So we just lyed in his bed chatting and watching dvds, and it was nice.That night he asked me to come back tommorow.so it was the next night and i went there and the both of us fell asleep he was tired from work and i was aswell , it felt so right.Then he said 'youre my girl now i like you and i dont want you going out with other men'.I was a bit shocked that he would say that so soon he must really like me.Then 3 days later he finished with me , i still dont now why he said he still liked his ex but they had already finished december.Ok he was with here for 2 years but it was funny her coming back on the seen after our date.So when i go to the pub now he is alway saying hi and coming over and when i talk to other men he looks at me.Does he still like me i really need your help because i still like him, there was a connection there it would be a shame to let it go without knowing what happened.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): It seems that this gentleman wasn't being completely honest with you from the start. He probably still has a small connection with his ex girlfriend and was thinking about getting back with her. Then he met you and let his emotions get the best of him. When he cam to his senses he decided that it was best for you and him to break it off. If you like him still its okay. But unfortunately you'll have to wait for him to decide on who he wants to be with. He feels bad for leading you on but at the same time he wants to get to know you better. You guys need to have a conversion and he has to be completely honest.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): You said he appeared shy when you first met him, and that it wasn't him who instigated the date. Maybe he freaked out when you were becoming a bit close; it seems like maybe he's still hung up over his ex. If he's still talking to you then you're still on good terms, and as technically nothing happened between you there shouldn't be any awkwardness. Just ask him. What's the worst that could happen? If he's not ready for a relationship (maybe still into his ex) then if you're keen on him ask if you can just see each other. If he says no, you're in the same position as you are now. If he says yes, you can build up your relationship gradually. If he's looking at you when you talk to other men, he could still be interested. But he's got no right to do anything if you're not together. So just have a friendly chat and establish where the land lies between you two.
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