A
male
age
51-59,
*immy1966
writes:I have been married for 22 years. We have raised 3 kids, and now have 2 grandkids.We seperated 8 months ago when I moved out.Over the years I left probably 10 times but never to another woman and always came back within a couple days.There was never any doubt my wife always loved me and all she ever wanted was to be with me.In Febuary she told me she was going to see someone else as I should too.She said we had become like strangers and always angry with each other.All the while I had been insisting I was never moving back to our home and I was going to leave the state for a job.Well on valentines weekend she slept with another man in her home town 250 miles away and is still seeing him on weekends.I went to texas for a job that did not work out,was gone for a month. But while I was gone realized I wanted to be with my wife and family and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But she does not know if she can ever be happy with me and does not want to hurt me or the guy she is seeing.We talk every day and text and I even sleep at her house(our home) sometimes.We even have slept together several times since I have been back in town.I know I pushed her to another man and it is my fault we are in this situation. She has told me to date cause she doesnt want me to be in limbo until she decides what she wants.Says she is waiting for the other shoe to drop with me but she does love me but doesnt know if she is in love with me anymore.I dont know what to do. I dont want to be clingy yet I want to be around her. Our family is very close so it is very hard not to at least see her. Should I date? I know she wants her cake and eat it too, and right now I am letting her because I want her back.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): Being in the same boat myself going on 3 yrs now I have found out that you just need to move on or get serious .My hubby left me almost 3 yrs ago and we went through the same thing as yall are going through .We however will not be getting back together as I am not going to take another chance with him and we have been married 28 yrs I am 43 . I did however tell my hubby to make a life for himself and I was going to do the same .we are great friends and maybe that is what you 2 should try I mean if you left your wife 10 times already you really couldnt care to much about her as a wife .However if you try to be a friend you might be better at it .Trust me when I realized what I had to do I let him know we could be friends but i was not going to allow him to come and go in our relationship as he please and told him i could do just fine on my own .Maybe she should let you know the same thing and yall should try friendship instead .Best of luck to you XOXO!
A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 If you seriously want her back you both have a lot of work to do. Leaving 10 times is a lot and makes me question whether you really do want to be with her. But thts for you to decide. If you do, you need to show her you are serious and this time its for good. You probably both need to go to some couples counselling, and figure your issues out. it will also show her you really mean it. she is probably holding back because she is worried you will leave again. I would advise that you dont date, show her she is the only woman for you and that the only woman you want is her. She needs to see loyalty and devotion from you.
good luck x
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