A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK so I'm 28 and I've met this guy who I work with, we've been at a few functions and have always kinda flirted see the thing is he's 39 so am not sure if that's too much of an age gap. He's a lovely guy and he told me that he has been thinking about me since the last time we were out together which was probably 3 mths ago. very slow mover I hear you say but then last night in front of all our colleagues he kissed me!!!He's divorced with no kids and I have 1 boy but have major trust issues, This time tho i feel as if I might be able to let down my guard and who knows but i need some help to know what to do next, see he thinks I left the party last night without saying goodbye to him, I didn't (my friend was having a drama so I was with her) but I heard that he was looking for me and was very annoyed when he couldn't find me. Can someone please tell me what can I do next?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey all
Thank you for your help. I think you are probably right about waiting for him to make the next move if he want's to be with me he'll make the effort right?
Or should I try to explain to him that I didn't run away from him, I like the flirty coffee idea but see he's the golf pro where I work and I'm just a receptionist so I don't want to make a fool of myself, like you said we do have to work together (btw work would not have a problem with us dating there are many other couples working on the estate)
Maybe I'll just wait and see...wish this dating thing was easier I have been outta the game for too long. I do like him I guess I am just scared about the next step :(
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 I don't think that the age gap here is to large, its only 11 years, people make relationships work with larger gaps than this.
Im not sure what sort of place you work in, or indeed what the policies are on co-workers dating. The thing is with dating colleagues is that when things are all going well, then alls good. But for arguments sake, if things went pair shaped you then have to continue seeing them everyday, which can then become somewhat arkward.
With regards to this party, just explain to him that you were having a drama with your friend, im sure he will understand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): I don't think there is ever an age gap 'too big' if you really like someone. I would worry a little more about letting your guard down, especially that you have a son. If I was in your situation, I would sit down, explain about why you had to leave the party and also explain how much you like him. If he is still annoyed that you left the party with your friend instead of him then maybe he isn't the right guy for you, as you don't want anyone who may turn over-protective and controlling as this in many cases can end up causing domestic violence.
Hope I helped a little. Amy X
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A
male
reader, foolishsage  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 Tell him the truth - you didn't mean to leave without saying goodbye and that your friend that you were with had some drama and you were stuck in the middle of it.
You can even tell him that you'd like to make it up to him by taking him out for a coffee - it's playful and flirty and fun and isn't over the top. It wouldn't send a message that if he has a sniffle, that you'll wipe his nose for him but it also does send the message that you are interested and it will give his male ego a little bit of a rub.
Best of luck to you. I think you'll be fine.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): I wouldn't do anything because if he really liked you he would be doing more about it. There is a really true saying about how to know who likes you and it's the person who is always finds reasons to be near you. When you find yourself trying to make something happen with someone who isn't initiating much with you, it's just not meant to be. There are slow movers and then there are ones who can't be bothered unless it's convenient for them. Knowing the difference will spare you lots a pain. don't allow yourself to be strung along by a guy who doesn't think about you enough to call you and be near you is my advice. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words.
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