A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have been with my girlfriend for two years, and I have always loved her, I have since the day we got together and I do to this day.However, I have recently been talking to another girl, purely for friendship, but I really can't help but feel that this friendship could be more. We have so much more in common compared to my current girlfriend and I, and when I am with her, well I can't really describe how I feel, I am too confused.So basically, I need to know how to resolve the situation, do I tell my girlfriend about this other girl? Do I break up with her? I really am confused and I feel like I can't talk to anybody about this, help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Figure it out first..think deeply, think without denial, face everything,it's possible that you're not anymore in love with your girlfriend and you're just denying it because of the fact that you have been with her in two years and the fact that you can't or you don't know how to break your relationship because maybe you can't find any more reasons to break that relationship other than the reason that you're liking or somehow loving another girl now and maybe perhaps you think that that reason is unreasonable, an unfair reason,maybe you just don't want to hurt your current girlfriend..For me,yes you should tell something to your girlfriend about what are you feeling right now,but before that, think a million as in million times first before you make up your mind,and in making decisions make sure that you are really honest to your self..and "if" you'll find out that your now in love with that new girl please inform your girlfriend about it as soon as possible because if you won't,this would be unfair to her,she is there loving you,believing that you are also loving her back when in reality, your heart belongs to someone else..i know it's hard,but the truth will set us free, and somehow someday she'll thank you that you broke her up because she was saved from the wrong one:)
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 dear friend,
Aug 13,09 friday I found out my bf/best friend of 10 years was cheating on me. He also started talking to this girl purely as a friend. I believe him, but I guess things progress & I found pics & 1 vid of them together. 1pic kissing..
It devasted me.. I am still in shock, hurt, not the fact that he did what he did. I believe in forgiveness & I know he lied, hide this new "female friend" because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Long story short, think it over if u really have feelings for this new friend? Maybe something you want to persue further? Really have feelings for her? By the way? How about ur new female friend? Do you feel that she's also interested in you?
Well, just think it over, but be honest w/ur girlfriend... Its the right thing to do, I know she'll be heart broken, but she'll respect you so much more for being honest & for talking to her first..
Whatever you decide, follow ur heart, be honest... So far you show a lot of integrity by asking help..
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): I think you should talk to your girlfriend about this.
Look, you are 'only' dating your girlfriend, you are not married to her!
Once married, there's no turning back, no what if's anymore, no matter how you may feel about your spouse and anyone new you may meet. Yes people do still meet more compatible people after they are already married but by then it's too late.
Since you're not married, now is the time to really explore who is the right one for you.
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A
female
reader, christina00 +, writes (18 January 2011):
we will always meet new people in our lifes! when you meet someone new u get excited about things because u dont know them yet.it takes time to know someone and feel relaxed about anything u do around them! when routine comes we have to know how to handle that! in a relationship u have to overcome certain things to make it work,IF u want to make it work! we have commonthings with many people..nice people are all over th world..we will always find someone "new" that cAn make us feel like they are "the best"! take a time and think if u really love ur gf! love is an act of will not a feeling,is commitment..but we often forget it and we take it as being the butterly in our stomach ! its much more than that.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (17 January 2011):
 hi
sounds like you are the sort of person that 'falls in love' too quickly. you say you loved your girlfriend 'since the day you got together' you mustn't have, you could not have known her well enough on the first day of getting with her, surely??
you are falling into the same pattern now aren't you? i suggest you have a GOOD, LONG THINK about what you think it MEANS to love someone because it seems like you may be mistaking it with attraction and infatuation.
this new girl might be the one for you or she might turn out to be REALLY not! maybe you are yearning for something fresher because you have been with your girlfriend for two years now?
you say that this new girl has more in common with you than your girlfriend does, but presumably you was happy enough with whatever common ground you and your girlfriend shared before new-girl came along?
does this girl even feel the same way? be careful because she may just be happy to have friendly talks with you. where have you met her and how well do you really know her
think carefully coz we can't go dumping people all the time as soon as someone else takes our fancy. if you want to go through life like that i think you should maybe avoid long term relationships until you are mature enough to handle them properly
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Well you have to make the choice.If you want to be with this girl more than with your current girlfriend then be with her. However, this situation isn't fair on your current girlfriend so don't try things with this girl whilist your still with your current gf. If you want to go for this new gf, break up with your current gf then try it, who knows it could be awesome. Or you could stay with the current gf, and remain friends with this other girl, see how it goes - maybe in time your feelings will become more clear and you'll have a better idea of what you really want.I wouldn't tell your gf about this other girl though, it'll just worry her and probably cause a rift between you two, and as you said, you love her, so you obviously don't want to hurt her. However if you do wanna go with this new girl, you need to explain to your gf about her etc.
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A
female
reader, amenthyst3356 +, writes (17 January 2011):
You need to drop the friend and go out, do things with your gf to build your shared interests. It's either your friend or your gf at this point. There is no both.
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A
male
reader, foolishsage +, writes (17 January 2011):
 Is there something wrong with the relationship that you're in? I know that you said that you have always loved her and that you still do - but are there resentments of some kind or are needs not getting met or are you finding yourself becoming bored with the relationship?
The new girl that you've been talking to may be great, but if you were perfectly happy and able to communicate with your girlfriend, then she should already know about this other girl who is just a friend.
First off, if anybody knows more about your relationship than the person that you are in the relationship with, then there's a problem. If you want to keep the relationship, then you need to work on it and identify the problems that you and your girlfriend have and you need to work on them together. That will include telling her about the girl that you have befriended. It will also likely mean that you will have to let that girl out of your life - if you're in a relationship and that person is important to you and the relationship itself is important to you, then you simply don't allow any outside influences to come between you. Relationships are hard enough without that additional interference.
Take a step back and limit or eliminate your contact with your new friend for a while. Give yourself some space to be able to think. And then decide - do you want to be with your girlfriend? If the answer is yes, then get to work on doing what needs to be done to make it work and maintain honesty and open-ness. If the answer is no - please take a close look at why you have selected that answer. If it is because you just don't feel it for her any more or because the two of you have irreconcilable differences, then that may be the best route. If it's because you think that the grass is greener - then you need to give it pause, because that's never the right reason to end a relationship.
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