A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:What would you do if you found out your husband having an affair and brought his lover a valentine present and nothing for you.He says he still wants his marriage to work and his affair meant nothing he just enjoyed the thrill the thought of him never getting caught out
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female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 Stop being a doormat. Stand strong and kick him to the curb. Wow! that is the lowest of the low.
he didn't give you a gift cause he thinks you will always be there. you're not going anywhere.
and it's true you are putting up with his cheating ways.
He says he wants the marriage to work, but his actions doesn't prove it.
Make him prove it to you. He's not going to give you a valentine gift until he respects you...and what he did is the ultimate disrespect. best of luck.
A
female
reader, the angela +, writes (19 February 2009):
Hi. I would spoil the lying fun. I would not cause a fuss but i would ensure that she knew he bought me fab roses a week end away etc. All men and affairs are fairy tale land not real life,she hears what he says and guess what,you have no time for him etc.Make it sporting and win!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): promises, promises - small noises that disappear on the wind. Where is his action? oh it was to buy her a present...
my view is get rid of him. you deserve better.
Hugs star.x
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A
female
reader, xXxkinki_katiexXx +, writes (19 February 2009):
 With all due respect....Why are you still with him??I know you are still married,,But he has cheated on you and you are more bovered on the fact that he has bought his ''lover'' a valentines gift than you!!Seriouslly,,You need to speak to him and find out everything that has gone on,,If you are willing to accept what he has done and work it out (which mariages that have a rough patch in take time to rebuild) go for it,,But make sure he knows that you are not a pushover and are not a raggdoll!!Well hope you figure things out!! :] xXx
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 You REALLY have to ask?
Okay, some guys forget valentines or think it is a big scam and refuse to take part in it. Fine so be it. BUT he didn't forget or think it is a scam when it came to his mistress. Just didn't bother to buy one for you.
And he wants this marriage to work? HOW exactly?
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A
female
reader, wolflady66 +, writes (19 February 2009):
 well as ive been married for 20 years and if my husband did that he would be well out the door not what you probably want to hear but personally thats what i would do IF you cant work it out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): maybe he truly loves you deep down but feels he lost the spark. you have to talk to him and listen to what he has to say. if he admits he felt lonely or what have you maybe you culd work it out. but you deserve better than a lier and a cheat.the question is... are you happy in your relationship? maybe a break from each other will be good for you, you can get your head together and have time to think. :) let me know how you get on. good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): yes, he finished it as soon as i found out,what hurts is that he was only seeing her for a few months and told her how unhappy he was in his marriage but still wants to stay with me why?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 February 2009):
 I'd hit the roof, hand him a packed suitcase, escort him to the door and tell him which hotel has the reservation. Then I'd make an appointment with the marriage counselor, tell him when it is and see what he does then.
I'd probably also pop around to my GYN and make sure he hadn't brought home any unpleasant viruses or bacteria and shared them with me.
Oh, and I would have a talk with a solicitor in the event that the marriage cannot be salvaged. It would be helpful to have a plan to ensure financial stability following such a split.
In other words, I would PLAN PLAN PLAN and listen to what he has to say to the marriage counselor, but verify his intent by watching his ACTIONS.
Don't get so emotional you can't think straight. Harness your anger, figure out what went wrong that he stepped outside the marriage, and organize the future for the best possible outcome for you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Annieapple +, writes (19 February 2009):
To be honest it hardly matters about the Valentine’s present. I think it’s more important to worry about the fact that he cheated. You need to ask yourself a few questions: Can you truely forgive him? Will you every trust him again? Would you rather be with someone new who hasn’t betrayed you in this way?
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A
female
reader, Auntie Stoned +, writes (19 February 2009):
He looks like he is experiencing mid life crisis. Henceforth, he needs attention to boost his ego. Buying gift for lover not wife is unforgivable. However, if he is willing to work on his marriage and you think he is worth keeping, give it a chance. Go for marriage counselling for a start. When all is done and there's no improvement on sight, then see a lawyer. You deserve better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): has the affair ended?i think you deserve better, if you truly love him and are willing to forgive him make him work for it. dont give in.but to be honest i think it sounds as if he is only sorry he got caught, the affair had to mean something to him for him to buy his lover a gift and not you wife. the one thing i hate is cheaters, and i personally would leave him. but if you can forgive and trust him again then i suggest you both sit down and you explain how he hurt you, explain about the V gift. maybe he feels the spark is missing between you two, so how about you both together try and find it again. think back to when you both fell in love.good luck :)
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