A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I had a one night stand the other night with a guy who I have met a few times before. When I saw him recently he tried it on with me in a bar but I turned him down because I knew he had a girlfriend. He then told me that he was on a break with his girlfriend but I didn't know whether to believe him so asked around to which his friends told me that they were still together as far as they knew. Then I saw him again the other night and we'd both had quite a lot to drink, we kissed so I asked him about his girlfriend again and he told me that they'd been on a break for a couple of months and that they'd both agreed they could see other people during this time. He also told my friend the same thing. Stupidly I believed him and we slept together but today I've found out that he lied and they're not on a break and he has no intention of breaking up with her. I feel so guilty, I never would have done anything with him if I'd knew they weren't on a break. I thought this guy wouldn't lie as I've known him for a while and he's a really nice. He's telling all his friends what's happened between us which is confusing as surely if he didn't want his girlfriend to find out he wouldn't do that. I've never met his girlfriend but I feel so bad knowing that she's probably not going to find out. I don't know what to do.
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a break, one night stand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2016): Put this cheating prick in the rearview mirror where he belongs.And walk away.He is garbage.Keep walking.... You CAN DO IT.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 June 2016):
 I agree, you knew deep down he was in a relationship, you choose to believe him because you wanted to be with him. If I where you I would book yourself in to a STI clinic to get checked and think about not sleeping around.
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A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (1 June 2016):
Honeypie is spot on right....thats all the reading you need on this one.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 June 2016):
 I just thought of something else... are you mad at yourself for not trusting your judgement, or for ignoring it because you wanted this... still no need to beat yourself up...
live and learn and let it go.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 June 2016):
You did not do anything with intent so forgive yourself.
But Honeypie is right, next time, if you don't believe them, go with your gut.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2016): If his friends know about you and him, then his girlfriend knows as well. It's pretty clear they have an up-and-down relationship, she's probably used to him sleeping around, probably she has sex with other men as well. I think the best thing you can do is just forget about him. I would also advise that you pop around to your doc, get a quick STD check and talk to your doctor about protecting yourself from STDs.
And take this as a lesson for the future. If you're serious about not sleeping with men who have girlfriends, then make sure you know them better before sleeping with them. Now if the alcohol is causing you to make bad or stupid choices, consider drinking less.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 June 2016):
 What do you do?
You start to LISTEN to your gut. You say you KNEW he had a GF and you even asked around and got confirmation - so you KNOW he was lying about being single. So you didn't go further.
Then recently, he told you the SAME lie, and this time you IGNORED it and you had sex with him.
So in conclusion...
Next time if a guy gives you a: "yes, I have a GF but we are on a break line" You tell him to buzz off. You don't give him a second chance a few weeks later and then sleep with him.
LEARN from this. Don't play ignorant or naive. I think you KNEW what you were doing, you just didn't think it through. THAT happens. HE on the other hand.. also knew what he was doing, he PLANNED to lie to a girl to have sex. NOT because he cares, but because he is an unfaithful piece of....
You made a bad choice. Live with it.
You can't undo it and you can't change this cheating fella.
Dust yourself off, stop beating yourself up and do better in the future.
Chin up.
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