A
female
age
30-35,
*ove-him
writes:Hey..I have been going out with my partner for 2 years next month, and up to now, its been up and down (the relationship). We used to go out for car drives so we could relax together, go to the cinema, go out for something to eat, be adventurous, but now.. he says he doesnt like doing all that kind of stuff anymore. Recently, he has been under a lot of stress at work and when he gets home at a weekend, he doesnt exactly feel happy seeing me (he hasnt said it in such words but you can tell by him telling me to leave him alone).Here is the bad bit.. I know i shouldnt and im realy angry i did, but.. i went on his msn messenger, and i saw he had a girl who i didnt know (i know the girls he talks to (he doesnt realy agree with me talking to lads so it's kind of both our rules..).I have the latest msn where you can see if your email address has been accepted by the other person and hers wasnt which meant he had to have added her. So i searched her email in myspace, and it came up with her profile. She lives where my partner goes to work (he works away during the week) and she works at the place my partner does work on (he does long contracts for fixing things etc).. so i knew he knew her from there. (this place is far away from where i live..)I then signed in on mine and he saw him sign in on his account. i phoned him and said are you online and he said no.. so i thaught thats strange.. i signed on in the morning.. and i saw that she had accepted the invitation which meant she could talk to him, and there was a message there from her saying ''yea me loves that'' she had sent this at the same time as him signing out which is why i recieved it.. i know that could mean anything but my partner said he DIDNT GO ONLINE AT ALL.. which i now believe he lied..I saw at the weekend on my partners phone, (the name) and i said who is this, and he said its the girl accross the road (who i know, and i also know she doesnt have a phone) so i said oh okay, and now i think the name in question is her, so i said dont you know anymore (name) and he said NO (shouting).. and he also said he doesnt talk to anyone who works at the place where he works on.. so i know he is for sure lying..Here is the even worst bit!! I signed on after the weekend (of questioning him and asking why) and left it signed in to see what happens, and suddenly she came online.. i thaught about it, but then i just went for it, i put hiya, and she put 'alrite' and i said do you have my number, which she replied, 'wot u on bout'. i left it from there and said 'sorry wrong conversation'.Now.. what i am thinking about doing, is ringing this girl at the weekend and sayingI think ive got the wrong number, who is thisand if they say (name)i will say ohh whats your second name and if they say (name) i will say oh yes it is the wrong number, and hang up.. but as lot of people dont agree and say i should just leave it, but i love him, and he loves me i think.. but if i leave it, it will just eat away at me..ALSOwe have not had a sex life for the past two weeks (im 17 and my partner is 21).. (we only see each other 2 days a week).. and for about 3 months he has stopped hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc with me.. without a reason..What should i do and what are your opinions on the situation? xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): well this sounds like your partner is being very secretive, what you need to do is just have it out with him tell him your supsions and if he gets angry with you then you will know something is not right, it could just be all harmless flirting that he is doing but i feel you need to get it off your chest and ask him or you will just keep going round in circles, if he loves you he will be honest, sometimes you just need to face these thing head on to find the truth good luck.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 From your words, I see that your partner is just not the same man he used to be, and doesn't enjoy the same activities or being with you. You have had no physical contact at all for approximately three months. You mention you haven't had sex in the last two weeks; I assume that, since you only see each other two days in a week, you used to have sex then. All these points are not subject to speculation; you know this for sure.
Also, your partner has met a girl at work. He included her as a friend on MSN and he has lied about the sort of relationship he has with her. This is also not speculation, but facts.
Looking at all this, I think he might have lost interest in you, and, also, that he might have an interest in this girl. I don't have any conclusive proof of it, just a gut feeling. The bad thing about these internet devices is that you never really know what is going on; you will never find the smoking gun in his hand.
I think you should talk to him about the change you have noticed, and also, perhaps, about his lying about this girl. I see you two are at odds, and you need to have this solved now. Doubt eats you alive from inside; you need to know what to do.
Take care.
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