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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm writing this as i've been in this situation for too long now, just over a year in fact.I feel like i'm being manipulated and would appreciate any feedback.It all started when i got back in contact with somebody i knew from school, it had been about 7 years since i'd seen them. We met up and went for drinks.A few weeks later we went out again then ended yp sleeping togather, this turned into a casual type thing where we met up every so often.That lasted maybe 6 months or so then he got a girlfriend so we stopped the physical part and decided to stay in touch as friends.A few months go by and he begins to be very flirtatious etc... i didn't really take it seriously and just thought he was messing around, didn't really think he meant it seeing as he was with her.This is where things started going wrong... i go out one night with some friends and end up bumping into him, i didn't know he was in town and his girlfriend, i'm guessing, was not in town with him.We got to talking and to cut a very long story short we slept together. Huge mistake on my part but now a few weeks have past and he's basically hinting that he wants it to happen again.I told him no and that what we did was wrong he replied "does that mean it's all over? :(" i actually felt guilty when he said that, not sure why.Ever since that night he's been chatting to me on fb etc... pretty regularly, and i know he wants to sleep with me again although he hasn't brought it up since he said it last time.The reason i feel i'm being manipulated is because everytime he asks me to come see him or something and i say that i can't he guilt trips me saying i hurt him.To top it off he's being deployed at the end of next year and that has an influence on why i'm finding it hard to break away. He asked if i'd write to him and at the time i said i would.Part of me feels like i should write to him seeing as he'll been gone for 6 months but on the other hand he has a gf and writing to him after what we did isn't appropriate.I need to distance myself from him, i know that, but i'm finding it harder as each day passes. Everytime i try and distance myself a few weeks later he gets in touch and says he doesn't see me enough and gives me the whole guilt trip and i feel like the bad person.So, i guess i'm wondering what to do about this whole mess and how do i get him out of my system for good?Thank you for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): Block him on fb and try your hardest to forget about it. He's got a gf and with her is having sex as and when he wants it plus he is trying to manipulate you to have that with you too. He is being selfish and this will be a massive test of your will power and strength but for youor own benefit keep clear from him and try to move on.
Perhaps you could tell a close friend and whenever he tries to get in touch they can be their and support you-or just put up another msg for help on here!
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male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (28 October 2010):
Simple,This is what seems to happen in FWB situations...one party always seems to get used/hurt.Just tell him that he has a GF and advise him that he's cheating on her. How would he feel if she did that to him?Tell him that he can have one of you ...NOT both.In the meantime DONT Contact him and try and find someone who is not gonna mess you around and uses emotional blackmail to get laid.Apologises in advance if you didnt like the direct response/advice
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