A
female
age
36-40,
*gyzee
writes:Hi all, my bf and i have been dating consistently for 4 years now. I'm just a bit concerned and scared that he might be stingy. I'm not been ungrateful or whatsoever, but i really need to set things right before we get married. He hardly assists me financially, except when i ask, he doesn't even sense when I'm broke and need money, even when I'm buoyant, he wants to borrow money from me. I do a lot of things for him, but these days I'm drawing back, cos its as if I'm spending too much on him. I need your candid advice. Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 I give all engaged couples the same advice.
Everything you LOVE about your bf...cut that in 1/2.
Everything you DISLIKE about your bf...double that.
That is generally what it is like to be married in a few years.
Now is the time for your fiance to show what his husband skills are. It does not sound like you are both fair to eachother financially, so now is the time to discuss what your realistic expectations are about...
*Finances/Work
*Sex
*Religion
*Child rearing
*Housework
*Family Time/Family involvement
*Location/Quality of Living.
Best Wishes.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2011):
 I would guess that BEFORE you two get married that you make a budget together and settle the finacial side of living together.
Also, don't forget that he isn't a mind reader. You need something, you might have to ask.
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