A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend who is 42 moved in with me 5 months ago due to his business going under and was pretty much broke. So I felt I needed to help him. He had high quality furniture and mine was not that nice but it suited it's purpose. Well since he is a christian he does believe living unmarried is a sin which I agree and I believe having premaritual sex is also. Since he has moved in I have paid for EVERYTHING! He has not bought groceries or paid any bills. He is very much in debt and still has no income. Well now his 19 year old daughter, who was living with her 20 year old brother, has been kicked out and needs a place to go. She is doing like a lot of teenagers do, not living in a productive life and he feels he needs to help her. Well I think that he should if that is what he wants to do but he thinks I should allow her to live with me until he can get some money to get them a place. I am afraid this may take some time and I dont have a lot of money to support all of these people! Now he says when he moves he is taking his 25,000 worth of furniture with him which leaves me with not much furniture at all. I think this is wrong of him to treat me this way after I helped him out. What do you think I should do? Please help! He is a great guy in general but he thinks I should take him and his grown daughter as a package. I also have a 14 year old son by the way and he is difficult at times and he mentions he deals with that.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 There was nothing wrong with letting him move in when he lost his job. However he should've been actively looking for work and found something by now to help contribute to your household expenses. Since you are paying for everything, you have the right to say no if you cannot afford 2 free-loaders. If he moves out (with what money, I do not know) then of course, he's entitled to take all his beautiful furniture with him. You had furniture before him, and once you are no longer supporting him, you can gradually begin to upgrade your own furniture. You may love this guy, but I think he knows how to work the system. Since you don't say how long you've been with him, it's hard to tell if he is stable or just a career moocher. I've seen it before. You meet a guy who has a great job, only to discover months later that he can't keep that job and the cycle continues.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): oh wow.. i feel so sorry for you..
in my case, i would have asked a lawyer what could i do..?
if he thinks he need to help his useless daughter, tell him that is not your responsibility. tell him to be a MAN and be responsible. don't live out of your hard earned money..
honestly, it is not your burden or mistake or problem, it is his.. tell him you have your own problem to think about.. ask him to the man he claim to be and solve this on his own.. don't let him take advantage of you more than he already had..
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 April 2010):
 These are difficult times. We can agree on that. The economy isn't good, and the job market isn't good either. He has $25k in furniture. You know, my couch was $200. I think it's about time for him to get rid of the "fine", replace it with not so fine, and use the difference to help out. I would be upset with myself, if I were in his situation and did not do that. It's a matter of principle. You are helping, which is a blessing to be able to do so, but as you said, you can only sustain so much. This would be, at a minimum, of what he should do while you're helping. If the economy recovers and he can work, make money and be self supportive, he can go back to the more expensive purchased, but as of now, where you're trying to survive, by helping others who lost their method of survival, he needs to do that to take the burden off of you. In reading what you wrote. I see that as being mandatory and not an option.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I think he has overstayed your hospitality and it is time to ask him to leave and take his furniture's along with him.
You have done a lot for him and you have gained nothing in return.
He and his daughter should find some work and not depend on your for their livelihood. They are taking advantage of your kindness and generosity.
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