A
female
age
30-35,
*appybunny_xoxo
writes:My best friend and I have just started to talk again...It seems like every time when we are by ourselves she is always critical of me...Like a couple of days ago we were eating lunch together and she tells me "why are you so scared of guys" " why don't you wear your hair down" "why don't you talk more to guys" "why don't you wear make up".She made me feel so small by saying all those things to me..I always get the feeling that she wants to change who I am..Maybe I should be more exciting and stuff but if she is truly my best friend then she wouldn't want to change me right?? All my other friends say that I am pretty awesome because I don't care what people think about me..But my best friend is always saying critical things to me..MY best friend is always telling me "why don't you try to get a boyfriend" and I am always thinking you know I have my whole life to get a boyfriend I should enjoy my teenage years...I don't know what to do..What should I tell my best friend the next time she is saying critical things to me???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): I personally think she is just jealous of you and is trying to put you down on purpose so that you will feel really small. I would just stick up for yourself right at the moment she says something. Get sassy. Next time she asks you why you don't try to get a bf, tell her its because you're too picky to date someone like her bf. Or when she asks you why you don't talk to guys tell her its because you are not desperate. When she asks why you wear your hair up, tell her its because, in case she didn't notice, its really humid out and you don't want your hair to frizz up like her's. Just attack her right back and be stern about it. And once her feelings get hurt and she's all like "why would you say that, blah, blah," then be like, "well quit asking me questions if you don't want to hear the answers."
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): you sound amazing i wish wish wish i was more lie you (im the same age) just stick to who you are cos ur views on life are so enviable! xxx
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A
female
reader, LoveStruckPanda323 +, writes (3 February 2008):
 I myself have felt like this too before. Unfortunately it did not work so well in my case. You should start asking your own questions next time. Ask her why she thinks so less of you. Tell her how you percieve what she is saying. maybe she isn't meaning it how you think she is. It could just be all a misunderstanding. But don't let anything happen to your relationship. You'll regret it for a long long time. But if something else happens you really need to stand for yourself hun. Don't let anybody change you. You deserve to live your life the way you want. It would be a pity if you changed just because of what one person says.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Respond by saying - "Why do you ask?" or "Why do you want to know?" and if she continues after that just continue answering her with questions. Eventually, she will stop when she realizes that you have no intentions of answering her.
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