A
female
age
36-40,
*ossultan
writes:hello. I'm a 22 years old Muslim Asian girl (i'm a Malays). I'm studying in one private college in my country and it is the same place that i have met my bf. My bf is a foreign student from Arabs. We have been together almost 3 years. He is from very cultural family. actually my problem is, he can't marry me because of his parent against it. His parent will choose a girl to be his future wife and maybe the girl will be one of his cousin. He ask his parent many times to marry me but his mother said she will never carry his baby if he marry an outsider ( if he marry a girl outside from his country) and they will never accept me as his wife and they will never accept him as their son again. Both of us are in the same religion. He told me he will try his best to convince his parents. I really really love this boy and i believe he also have the same feeing as i do; he also want to marry me so badly. He always told me he wish he can be forever with me. Sometimes we cried together when talking about separate or breaking up. I am not a very religious person but i still felt sad, angry and guilty to myself because i lost my virginity with him and i cant let him go after he took my virginity? I also do abortion from his baby once. I can't have the baby because of my culture and my religion and i'm too scared to face the world if my family and people know i'm pregnant before married. From all the thing was happen makes me love him more and more and cant leave him. I even tried to kill my self many times before when he said he want to leave me (when we fight or argue about something). My mum and my siblings also really love him and happy if i marry him. he is very good person and he treat me very nice. He give me everything i want ( he come from a rich family but im not). The first problem that i need an answer is what should i do? Should i still with him or leave him now before things get worse or about the idea if he marry me as his second wife and he will come and visit me once or twice a year? I really blur right now. I can't lost him but in the same time i cant have him..
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abortion, cousin, lost my virginity, muslim Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): listen to what your parents say yeah because im a muslim to and it doesnt matter how much you lover your boyfriend or girlfriend it's up to your parents at the end of the day, and losing your virginity with him is also against your religion before getting married, GIRL you've messed up big time you don't know how much "GUNNAH" you are getting.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): Well the optimum is to just move to another country where the cultrue is less bigoted and archaic.
So one way or the other you are either gonna have to go against his family's wishes and marry anyway (because in all truth it is none of their business unless you both choose to involve them) or break up and live with it.
I personally think if you care about each other as much as you say, then nothing any of your family can say or do will make an iota of difference.
So tell the guy to grow a sack of balls and stand up to the dictators that are his parents.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, buddys  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 I know cultural differences and religion sometimes rule our lives. But I also believe you should be with the one you truly love. If you are both willing to make sacrifices (religion, culture, maybe family) to be together and be happy, then do it. If you both can't sacrifice those things, you should break it off with him and find some one who is able to be with you and give you what you want and need.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 You are not getting answers because this is a very complicated situation. I for one don't believe in parents deciding who their children marry, nor do I believe in having more than one wife. That being said I guess all I can do is hope that things will work out for you. Maybe one of the muslim aunts will be able to help you sort this out.
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A
female
reader, Rossultan +, writes (25 January 2008):
Rossultan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionguys out there.. please gimme an answer! i need your help...
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