| A
female
,
*inagee
writes: My partner of 5 years, has a drinking problem. He is an alcholic who usually keeps his drinking under control. A few weeks back, he went on a "bender" which lasted nearly a week. He works mostly night shifts, and weekends which result in us not spending much of our free time together. Without drink he is a lovely, gentle and very caring man, and I do love him very much. I have gradually grown to hate his days off as he tends to drink more on these days. He is either in a good or bad mood when I get home from work. A couple of weeks back he went on a "bender",he was being very unreasonable, and would not stop drinking, I tried to tell him that it made me feel very angry when he drank and I felt unsafe with him. We had a heated argument and I received both verbal and physical abuse. He was like a mad man. It was if he was possessed. I stayed with my parents and next day went to court to get a protection order against him. I was granted a temporary order for a month and should be going back to court in July to get a protection order for 7 years. He has not taken any drink for a week and is back working. I have moved back into our home. He is his normal self again without the drink, a loving and caring partner, but its early days and I know if he does drink again, I will be back to square one. I am unsure what I should do about the protection order. Have you had any similar experience and can advise me of what options I have. I would really appreciate your reply. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ginagee +, writes (18 June 2006):
ginagee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help. Seeing your answers in black and white has made me think about the bigger picture. I have thought a lot about what you have said. Thank you for helping.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2006): People have a hard time changing. I really reccomend that you get over this guy and make the better decision to yourself: find someone who is healthier and more able to care for you( and who has free time for you) For by him showing that he cant take care of himself, only means that he also cant take care of you, and that is obvious. I really do reccomend that you seek others to talk to about it, get out and meet some people if you are afraid of being alone. Move in with a girlfriend temporairly if you can or a family member if finances are a problem. There is also lots of housing available to single females, as the market is booming. REally get out there and do yourself a favor and find a man who doesnt have an alcohilism problem. You will thank yourself and be freed of fear and any pain.Get out and expierience the world and others.
...............................
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 * excuse my spelling/writing, I didn't check before I submitted, sorry!
...............................
A
female
reader, camille +, writes (15 June 2006):
I'm sorry I only have limited experience of an alocholic partnet. When i eventually decided that I couldn't and didn't have to tolerate his bullying any longer, i got the strength to walk out. When he first got counselling it was for me, so it was never going to work. He called me (drunk) to tell me how it had gone, "I haven't got a drink problem, just a problem with drink", that seemed to be his green light to continue. What I'm trying to say is, he needs to sort out this problem for himself, by himself and maybe it would be best for you to stay away until he has got the help. He has to want to do it for himself or you will continue in thi svicious circle. I haven't heard of many people who just stop drinking without he aid of a programme or counselling, but i wish you luck. I thought I could be his reason to stop, or I coul dhelp or save him, but that was naive of me, he had to do it on his own. Support from a distance may help, but I doubt it will owrk for you if you 'stay' with him.
...............................
|
