A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically ive just started to question my sexuality... ive always been straight and when i was younger had boyfriends but for the last 4 years ive just been having the odd snog on the weekend and foreplay with men as im 16 and just want to have fun. ive been feeling a little confused for a while but the last while ive really began to wonder. It all started when i was 14, after a drunken night with my best friend sharon, we both went to bed and it got a little heated with snogging and near enough foreplay, it was the most amazing night of my life, i really got turned on and so did she. We never mentioned it again and just laughed in the morning. Also ive pulled some friend but always when im drunk but ive also pulled men too. ive never really been in a relationship and ive never met a man that ive really fancied and thought was soo hot tht id love to meet up with or get with( very sad i know)...i find it quite pressuring in my group of friends as most of them are sexually active and when they tell me about how amazing the foreplay was with their guys ..i feel wierd asa guy has never really turned me on, ive enjoyed the snogging and the build up but to be honest afterwards i just feel nothing ...i dont like them any different and theyve always want to do it more than me!, is it because ive never been with a guy ive really liked or has the night with my best friend (girl) been soo good nothing lives up to the same excitement or passion or orgasim. I'm now even more confused as last night i spent it with a guy we did everything and nearly sex but even though i seemed like i was really turned on and wanting more it was all just a act, when he was down on me i had to fake it as i just wanted to go out and see my mates and get drunk, i only did it all with him out of feeling underpressure and this lonely feeling i have. in the morning when i was telling my other best friend cassie about it she was saying she loved guys going down on her and she was shocked by how blazay i was about it all..i didnt feel any different . Im just reallllllly confused is it because the guys ive been with are not good or am i actually a lezbian???....It's not that im an unsexual individual im actaully the oppisite im really a sexual person i love to watch porna nd pleasure myself...but recently ive been watching lezian porn and it seems soo much more passionate and enjoyable....i feel really guilty as the guy i was with last night has really fallen for me ....hes just gets along so well with me , are personalitys match and hes such a good laugh and is definately really hot and has been with many girls before but i feel im now using him to test how i feel when i really just want to be his mate....its all going sooo wrong and i feel trapped by my straight friends and in the small town i live in theres a limited amount of boys, they would never except me as a lezbian or i could be bisexual ...but yet again in the past when ive met a stunning boy ive really been into them...maybe the excitement i get from being with a girl is because its different, in feel more comfortable and i have allways been drunk during the experiences which makes everything different....PLEASE SOMEONE HELP IM SOO CONFUSED !!1 any advice is welcome ...own experiences and overall assesment of me ...thankyou x x x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (4 May 2009):
 Ok, my take on sexual orientation is that you are too young right now to really know what you want, especially if you are confused.
It is perfectly natural to be aroused by members of the same sex. Right now your body is crazy with hormones and all it wants to do really is have sex.
It might take a little experimenting to find out what suits you. Maybe you find that you like both men and women. Maybe after kissing a girl you decide you like it, or that you hate it and only want guys.
Don't be totally turned off by a few bad experiences, with either gender. Right now just about anyone you meet will be fairly inexperienced. But really, this is the time in your life when you should be doing what feels good for you, and not what you think others will care about (easier said than done, I know).
And you may just be a sexual person, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes just being with a person can be the turn on, and not who that person is.
Go out, explore, be safe, and don't be so eager to put your sexual orientation in a tiny "check box" just yet. Forcing a label on you is only going to confuse you more when you do something outside of it's definition.
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