A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, simple questions really, but still needs detailed thought and I’m struggling to think of everything. When finding a housemate/flatmate what am I supposed to look for? Also, what are the rules/boundaries/routines/etc to set out? Do you set them beforehand or just after they agree to move in? Signed contract? Is it my [reasonable] rules because it’s my mortgage or joint rules? Are curfews unreasonable for things like loud guests or music? What about overnight visitors? My questions are basically what needs to be on the extensive list for us to be compatible and live happily in a shared space? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I appreciate the help!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2019): Your house, your rules. Always best to have these in writing and agreed upon before contracts are signed. I would include no smoking, no pets, no loud music after 10pm, no overnight guests, contribution towards cost of cleaner, etc
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 April 2019):
 I think AS IT IS your house, you CAN set rules, they can CHOOSE to not rent a room from you if the rules are just too much for them.
Though I DO think they have to be reasonable as well.
Consider drafting a roommate agreement that all parties sign the day you move in, that clearly states some the "rules" everyone one agrees on.
1. DEFINITELY have rules about noise/music. ANYONE can put on head phones if they want to listen to LOUD music. And if they have friends over, music doesn't have to be at full blast, either.
2. Household chore. Each person clean up after themselves and certain chores are shared, like cleaning the bathroom, common room, kitchen etc. Those chores can be swapped. Like you do bath room on even weeks, room mate on uneven weeks. She/he tales trash out even/ you uneven weeks.
3. contribute with cleaning supplies, toilet paper and other shared essentials. It's NOT a hotel.
4. Pets/no pets. Easy enough rule. Entirely up to you.
5. If there is only one bathroom - SET a schedule for showers.
6. PRIVACY of bedroom. DO NOT enter their room and they stay OUT of yours. Locks (at least for yours might be an idea if this is a stranger renting).
7. Overnight visitors. Well, that one can be tricky. I'd say it's something you will have to find a decent compromise on. Let's say you roommate has a BF/GF and that BF/GF is constantly there. That means they use ht water, toiletries, use or take over the common space, etc. And that might not be comfortable for you or reasonable. So maybe set a limit to ONE night a week?
8. set a rule for LOST keys. If a room mate loses their key IT IS on their expense to replace the lock. It's just not safe with a key floating around out there. And NO handing off keys to friends.
9. smoking or NO smoking in the house (I'd go with the latter, personally.)
10. Thermostat temp for winter. Have that spelled out too. I shared MY flat with a room mate for a while (who was also a good friend) I never had the heater on after May 1st. There really wasn't much need. But she LOVED to crank the temperature up, and it did add to more cost and me having headaches because I don't like sleeping too warm. So we compromised.
Those are just some of the ones I can think of.
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